


Falling Face First

by groove_bunker



Category: Pitch Perfect (2012)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-18
Updated: 2014-03-31
Packaged: 2017-12-20 15:41:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 35,468
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/888960
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/groove_bunker/pseuds/groove_bunker
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Beca doesn't know how Aubery managed it; keeping the Bellas under control while also maintaining an acceptable GPA and a job is ridiculously difficult. She doesn't need the stress of wondering exactly when the overwhelming urge to kiss Chloe took over either.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Bechloe Special

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Sammy](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sammy/gifts).



“All right nerds, let’s go with...Party in the USA.” The Trebletones sigh and Jesse tries to catch your eye but all you can think about is the coach on the way to regionals. It was the first time you really felt like you were a part of something, like these girls, Aubery excluded perhaps, wanted you there and wanted to be your friend.

In your minds eye, you can see Chloe, her head phones in, singing along to the music coming through her headphones and you remember how cute you thought it was. Of course Chloe was cute, she was freaking adorable, 24/7. But something about this song and the way she danced along to it on the bus just made you smile. It seemed a fitting tribute to Chloe and Aubery as well, given how much work they’d put into the team.

“Who’s first? Let’s get this party started!” Fat Amy called. You’d made the right decision appointing her your second-in-command. Sure, cardio wasn’t her strong point but neither was it yours and she was fun and exuberant and had a lot of good ideas. Plus, she scared the shit out of most of the Treblemakers, and it wasn’t a bad thing to keep them on their toes?

A terrified freshman came out on to the stage and started humming the intro. She was quiet, not as quiet as Lilly, but still, hard to hear. But as she got into it, she started to belt at a volume that could rival Amy’s. You could hear the rest of your team’s discussion and most of the comments were good. If only she wouldn’t look so scared. You didn’t think you were that intimidated when you sat on that stage last year. Maybe only by the way Chloe looked like she expected something magical from you.

An hour later and there’s only one more person to audition. The competition was going to be tough this year; there were some really good guys who auditioned for the Trebles. But there was a lot of hot new talent all round and getting them to join the Bellas instead of the ridiculous Madonna troupe wasn’t going to be hard. What was going to be hard was whittling down the choices for the two or three spots you had to fill.

The last auditionee hit the ball out of the park; he’s one of the best singers you have ever heard. One look at the other girls confirms that they’re as worried as you about the boys joining the Trebles. You’ve promised Aubery you would keep that trophy and you would not hear the end of it if you did not. You think of the older girl, who had landed an internship at a senator’s office straight out of college, to no one’s surprise. You were actually starting to miss her now you realised how much work this acapella thing was. She’d be back soon, for a holiday and to see Chloe.

Justin hands you a list of names and email addresses as you walk out of the auditorium with the girls. The plan now is to head to someone’s dorm room and order pizza while going over the notes Stacie made on each applicant’s performance. Eventually, you might get down to something that resembles a call back list and then you can plan initiation. Or rather, Amy and Stacie can plan initiation and you can take a back seat for a little bit. Suddenly, your long forgotten and neglected cell phone buzzes.

_How were auditions shortstack? C xo_

_Not too bad, the Trebles have got some really good talent this year, could do with you and Posen back again. Fancy some pizza tonight? Xo_

Chloe was still at Bardon, doing some graduate school thing in science. She’d explained, very excitedly, all about it at their graduation party but you’d had a few beers and were revelling in school being out for the summer, so you feel you can be excused if it didn’t all sink in. The main point was that she was still here, near campus and you still saw one another.

Which was great and all but there was something about her you couldn’t quite shake.

_Sounds heavenly, today has been nothing but stress. I’ll pick up some soda and snacks for everyone on the way over_ _J xo_

_Ok! We’ll be in Cynthia Rose’s dorm, call when you get here and we’ll buzz you in. Xo_

“Was that Jesse? If Aubery was dead, she’d be rolling in her grave.” Amy sidled up to you as you reached Cynthia Rose’s building.

“No, it was Chloe, she’s going to come by for some pizza and help with the selection. Thought it might be nice for her.” You’re glad when everyone agrees. You didn’t want to make things awkward.

\---

“I liked her, I thought she had good energy. Looked like she’d be able to dance.” You listened to the recording again, taking in what Stacie was saying about the 5th girl who’d auditioned for you. Aubery was a much better person than you, you’d decided. You’d only been here 45 minutes and you just wanted to pull three names out of a hat and be done with this whole process.

“We could do with someone who can dance and choreograph, now that Chloe’s gone.” Lilly had become slightly more talkative since the finals but no less weird. When she opened her mouth, you never knew if what she said was going to be constructive or whether she was about to admit she was born with flippers or something.

Your phone buzzed and you smiled.

“Speak of the devil. Can someone buzz Chloe in please?” 10 minutes later, Chloe was sat on the floor next to you, listening to the audition tapes you’d made.

“I think 2, 3 and 5 were the best, in terms of what would fit in best with the rest of you.”

“Yeah? That’s what I thought too, but I needed an 8th opinion or whatever.” Chloe giggled and you couldn’t help but smile. You were tired, you were stressed but it felt like the gang was back together.

“I think you’re right Beca. I hope you know how much it hurts to say that.” You roll your eyes at your computer, where you can see Aubery’s face in the Skype window, “Now I need to get my beauty sleep, I’ll see you all in a few weeks.” Everyone said their goodbyes and Aubery hung up.

“Right, so is everyone agreed?” you ask.

“Does this mean we can plan initiation?” Cynthia Rose asked. You nodded and Fat Amy cheered. Your friends were definitely not just in this for the singing.

“First, I was promised pizza?” Chloe produces a take out menu from her bag and hands it to Amy,  “I know what you want.”

“Do you now?” you raise your eyebrows at her. You wouldn’t be surprised if she did; you’d spent a lot of time together in the few months leading up to the finals. She knew how you took your coffee, that you didn’t like salad in your burger and that your cheese fries had to be made with mozzarella and not American cheese. So it wouldn’t surprise you at all to find out that Chloe Beale knew your pizza order.

“Half ham, bacon and mushroom, half double cheese with lots of olives.”

“We’re sharing then?” The pizza guy would know what you were getting the minute he heard your voice. After countless orders, often twice in one night, while you and Chloe were perfecting the finer points of the set list, all the people at Chloe’s preferred pizza parlour knew the two of you by name. In fact, they called your pizza the Bechloe special.

“Didn’t think you’d mind.” You don’t. You realise you’ve missed her in the last few weeks. You’ve decided that this year, you’re actually going to focus on college and that means that in between working at the radio station, audition preparations for the Bellas and actual work, it’s been difficult to find enough time to see your best friend.

“So how’s grad school?” you ask, settling back against the bed behind you. Team meetings definitely needed somewhere more comfortable to take place.

“Grad school is so wonderful,” you’d almost forgotten how much your best friend gushed. Still, you loved to see how passionate she was about...science? Something science based. You cared, you just didn’t remember, “The apartment’s quite lonely, now that Aubery’s gone, but other than that, everything is so good right now.”

“You mean you haven’t taken advantage of her leaving to do depraved things everywhere she banned them?” Sarcasm is the lowest form of wit, you remind yourself, and you don’t need to rely on it anymore. Still, sometimes, you can fall back on it, when in the company of friends.

“I think I’d still feel she was watching me. No joke. In all seriousness, I do get kind of lonely sometimes. It was nice of you to invite me back, Beca.” She takes your hand, gives it a squeeze and you can feel a blush rising in her cheeks.

“No problem Red, it’s nice to have you back.”

“What pizza do you two want?” Amy calls from the other side of the sizable dorm room. What you would have given for one this big last year, what with Kimmi Jin and all.

“Just ask for a Bechloe special, they’ll know what you mean.” Chloe turns her attention back to you, “A little birdy tells me you’ve actually been attending your classes. How are you feeling about sophomore year?”

“I didn’t realise college was this hard. Would you believe it, they actually expect me to hand in work and there’s a deadline and everything?” Chloe laughs again. You reckon that you could bottle that and sell it as a cure for everything wrong in the world.

“It doesn’t get better. If you ever need any help though...you know where I am.”

“Yeah, in your big scary apartment with Aubery watching over you as you sleep.”

“You’re doing the thing again.”

“What thing?”

“The ruining the moment thing.”

\---

_We still on for the next part of your moviecation tomorrow?_ _J_

_Sure, just not too early. Amy’s just got the dance mat out._

_Videos or it didn’t happen ;)_

You were glad that Jesse had taken it so well when you said that you just wanted to be friends. You loved him, that was true, but you didn’t love him like you knew you should. It was why you’d found it so easy to spend all night looking after a very drunk Chloe after you’d kissed him. With Jesse, everything was easy and that was how you wanted it to stay.

“Chief, I think it’s your turn first. Who wants to go up against the Chief?”  You shake your head, knowing whoever did was going to beat you by a million miles.

“I don’t want to embarrass you, the mermaid dancing will just put you to shame.” Amy looks dead serious but then bursts into laughter, “How about our former co-captain? Let’s see how the next generation measures up?”

You shrug your shoulders at Chloe, who then bounds up to join you. The dancemat is plugged into Cynthia’s old school playstation and you can see her song selection.

“Spice Girls, really?”

“C’mon, you love it. Let’s get on it, winner takes on Fat Amy.” The song starts and you try your best but Chloe’s just so good. You realise, not for the first time, that you actually find her kind of distracting. There’s something about the way she bites her bottom lip in concentration that is completely adorable and at the end, you’re not surprised to find she’s beaten you by like, 10,000 points. Amy steps up and takes her place next to Chloe.

Sitting down, you let the realisation that Chloe is rather distracting wash over you without removing your eyes from her as she dances her way to another victory. This time however, she steps down to let someone else have a turn.

“What’s up shortstack?” You are not that much shorter than her, you try to begin to say but her smile disarms you and suddenly you are struck with an overwhelming desire to kiss her.

Wait.

Where did that come from? Sure, she’s pretty and distracting, but you’ve never wanted to kiss her before. Never wanted to kiss a girl before, for that matter. Not that it’s a problem, you always just assumed that you could end up with anyone. But this was the first girl you’ve actively thought about kissing. Suddenly you feel very hot and you need to get some air.

“I need a drink.” She reaches for the bag behind her and produces a can of grape soda. Your favourite. Of course it’s your favourite, because Chloe knows your favourite everything. Pizza, coffee, soda, song, you name it, she knows it. She cracks the top, takes a sip and passes it over.

“Sorry it’s not cold, I grabbed it as I left the house.”

“It’s fine. I’m fine, just not used to that much dancing anymore.” You smile and she smiles back. She takes your hand and doesn’t let go of it until she leaves you at your dorm room three hours later.

 


	2. Plant Sex in the Library

You wake up to a text from Chloe and three missed calls from Jesse. Looking at the time, you groan. Jesse is meant to be here in approximately 5 minutes. Deciding that Jesse is a more pressing issue, you hit the call button.

“Morning sleeping beauty.” You make some kind of non-committal noise which he should take to mean you’re still not pleased with being awake at this hour, “Shall I grab some coffee and pastries and come over in about 20 minutes?”

“Sounds good. Lots and lots of coffee. Lots of sugar.” You hear him laugh and then say goodbye. Dragging yourself out of bed, you decide that a shower is definitely in order before Jesse gets here. Not for the first time this year, you miss the en-suite at Chloe’s apartment where you’d spent a good amount of the summer vacation. Having to walk down the hall before you were even properly awake every morning was not top of your to do list.

You come back from a very quick shower to find Amy waiting at your door. Your room mate had never shown up, so more often than not, someone would appear to sleep on the spare bed, because theirs was just too far away.

“Where have you been all night?” And most of the morning, you wanted to add.

“Well, after you and Chloe ducked out early, the rest of us went into town, found this epic dance club and drank _way_ too much.” You don’t even bother asking how they even got in; Stacie normally took charge of that. You’d watched her seduce people on the door more times than you’d care to mention.

“Jesse and I are watching some movies this afternoon, but we can go somewhere else if you’d like?” Amy shakes her head.

“It’s fine, I’ll put my headphones on, will be like you and loverboy aren’t even there.”

“I told you,” you start to plump your pillows slightly more emphatically than necessary, “Jesse is not my loverboy. We kissed once.”

“If you say so.” You have to stop yourself reacting with ‘I do say so’ but you’re saved by your ringing phone. You pick it up without looking at the caller ID.

“Jesse?” No one else ever calls you. The Bellas have a texting group and Chloe seems to like texting as well, always fully embellished with smiley faces and kisses. Cute, just like her.

“I’m hurt.” You can hear her pouting, you swear it.

“Sorry Chlo, wasn’t expecting you.”

“Well, I text you and never got a reply, wanted to make sure you had actually woken up.”

“Only just. Jesse’s coming with the coffee. What’s up, Red?”

“I was just checking in on my favourite DJ. Also, was wondering if you want to do dinner on Monday? Something that isn’t delivered or cooked in the microwave.”

“I assume you’re cooking because we both know how I feel about being in proximity to the kitchen. You know, except to use the aforementioned microwave.”

“I will cook if you come to the apartment. I’ll pick you up from your last class on Monday?”

“I’ll text you the details in a moment, yes?” She says goodbye and gets off the phone. Amy has been listening in, as per usual.

“Got a date with Chloe?” Why is everyone so obsessed with you and dating? If it’s not Jesse, it’s Chloe and you’re just best friends with both of them. So what if Jesse wishes it would be more than that (it’s painfully obvious to you and a running joke in the Bellas) and that you wish, maybe a little bit, that Chloe wouldn’t do the thing that made you want to kiss her because that’s just too damn confusing. Or, you know, that she’d do it more, and that you had the courage to _actually_ kiss her.

“No dates, just movies with Jesse and dinner with Chloe. My best friends.” Amy scoffs but leaves it. You’re glad. Everything’s enough of a mess without anyone else interfering. She climbs into bed, fully clothed and puts her headphones on. Two minutes later, you can hear her soft snoring and you know she won’t wake up for at least another 5 hours. You finish making your bed-cum-sofa look presentable just as Jesse calls to be let in. The huge cup of coffee he’s carrying is gratefully accepted although it’s not quite right.

You find yourself thinking that Chloe wouldn’t get the first coffee of the day wrong.

“Right, so, musicals. How many musicals have you seen?” The look on your face obviously tells him everything he needs to know. Music is fine, music is great. But singing for no good reason, that irritates you. He sets up his laptop and pulls out a package of popcorn. Salt, not sweet, just the way you like it.

“So, we have Hairspray, we have Les Miserables and we have My Fair Lady, which would you like?”

You survey the covers. You’d heard that Les Miserables was like, 3 hours long or something, so that’s out automatically. To your credit, you’ve heard of My Fair Lady, but it doesn’t sound too interesting, so you point at Hairspray.

“That one.”

“Thought you might say that.” He puts the disc in his laptop and then spreads himself across the bed. You remember how annoying you used to find that. Now you like that you’re close enough for you to let it go. You slump down next to him and the movie starts. The lead character is _singing._ On her way to school no less. You never remember feeling that happy about high school. And you didn’t go to school in the 60’s with the rampant sexism and racism and all that. You decide that you and this Tracy person would not have been friends, in this century or the last.

As the film continues, you find yourself actually enjoying it. The music isn’t _too_ horrendous and maybe, you could throw some of it into a mix for the Bellas somewhere along the way. You like the antagonist, in a strange way. She seems familiar.

“She looks like Chloe.” Jesse is a mind reader, you swear. Stupidly insightful into your life and your mind.

“I guess a bit. If she had blonde hair and a shitty attitude.”

“She’s got an Aubery attitude.” You laugh, thinking that yes, Amber von Tussle is what would happen if somehow Chloe and Aubery had a baby. She’s pretty but you like your Chloe better. You like how she’s all sweetness and light, funny and cute and you really like her red hair. Your Chloe is much prettier. You hope Jesse can’t read your mind right now.

“Aubery isn’t that bad, not really.”

“That isn’t what you were saying last year.”

“We’ve come quite a long way. I think I almost kind of miss her. If you tell anyone, you’re a dead man.” Jesse holds his hands up to show he understands. It’s true though, you miss Aubery. She had her head on right, even if it was perhaps slightly too tightly screwed on. She knew exactly what was going on and exactly what to do. You find yourself wishing you’d listened to her more often. You worry about Chloe too, in the apartment she’s shared with Aubery for two years. You hope she’s not too lonely.

“Not long left of the movie, keep concentrating.”

You try your best, but now every time you see Amber, you think of Chloe, Chloe who is hopefully not sitting over in her apartment all on her own right now. Chloe who is nothing like this girl in the film and is so much better. You want to text her but moviecation sessions are strictly no phones allowed. Maybe after. You wish you had a car so that you could just pop over to the apartment and check she’s alright. Maybe with a cup of that tea she loves so much from the 24 hour diner just off campus.

Finally the movie’s over and you admit to Jesse that actually, you did enjoy it. He excuses himself to go to a Treble’s meeting, which he’s told you before normally end up being marathon gaming sessions fuelled with Red Bull and pizza. When he’s gone, you miss him a little bit. You do like spending time with him. He is sweet. You almost wished that you liked him a little bit more because Jesse would be the perfect boyfriend. But you don’t, so you’re going to suck it up and deal with it.

You switch your laptop on and start mixing. You need it to keep you occupied, to stop thoughts running through your head. But you can’t concentrate. You want to go and see Chloe, you’re worried about her. But you can’t afford a cab and it’s unfair to expect her to drive to campus on a Saturday afternoon to pick you up. You could text her.

_Moviecation done for another weekend ;) how are you? Xo_

_That was quick!_ _J what did you watch? I’m not too bad, how are you? Xo_

_We watched Hairspray, it wasn’t the most awful thing to ever happen in my life. I’m good, bored though xo_

_So am I! I’m in the library, fancy keeping me company? ;) xo_

_Sure, I’ll be right over xo_

_\---_

Chloe seems surprised when you slide onto the couch next to her at the library. She’s reading a book that’s about 3 inches thick and full of words you can barely pronounce.

“I couldn’t find you.”

“I like to tuck myself away at the top.” She looks adorable, wrapped in a multicoloured blanket, headphones around her neck, “Make myself at home, as you can see.”

“So what are you reading?” You rest your chin on her shoulder and instantly regret it. How can one person smell so good? Her hair is tickling your nose. And she’s trying to explain science to you.

“It’s about plant reproduction.”

“You’re reading a huge book about plant sex on a Saturday afternoon?”

“Essentially...yes. I wanted to get it out of the way, so that I didn’t have to worry about it. Got these plans with a really cool girl Monday night.”

“I’m touched, but you know I would happily spend all of Monday night sitting here while you read about plant sex.”

“Reproduction, Beca, reproduction. As much as I’m sure you’d love that, I’d planned to make dinner and watch a musical.” You’re not quite sure if she’s joking. She’d better be joking, “The look on your face. I promise, I will not make you watch a musical. Dinner and you can go through the TiVo?”

You smile. She knows you so well. TV is much more your thing. Although you would have happily sat here and watched her read. Maybe with your laptop, work on some mixes for the first practise next week.

“Uh huh. While you’re here, want me to go get you a coffee or something?”

“Beca, did you go to the library last year?”

“Yeah!”

“Let me rephrase: did you use the library last term?”

“...No...”

“No food or drinks in the library. The librarians are worse than Aubery. God help you if they catch you smuggling in anything contraband.”

“Worse than Aubery?” Even though you’re whispering, you sound over-dramatic and Chloe tries to keep her giggles under control. The librarian at the desk gives you a dirty look, which only serves to make Chloe laugh harder.

“I told you so.” She goes back to reading her book. You try to read over her shoulder but you can’t even read your own science books, let alone her graduate level one. You let your eyes close as you listen to Chloe hum very quietly under her breath.

You open your eyes. You’re covered in Chloe’s blanket and you’re worried you might have drooled on it. The book is closed on her lap and she’s just sitting there, watching you.

“You weren’t even that late to bed last night.”

“Must have been a delayed reaction to the musical.”

“Yeah, sure. Something keeping you up at night Beca?”

Yeah, you want to answer, you’re keeping me up at night. You and your cute giggle and the way that you smile. The fact that you know everything from my favourite book to my favourite soda makes me want to curl up into a ball and cry because I never thought I’d let anyone in like that. But it also makes me feel all happy and fluttery inside because Chloe Beale, beautiful, talented, funny Chloe Beale wants to know all my favourite things. It’s all very confusing.

Is what you want to say.

What you actually say is:

“Just work and Bella’s stuff and the radio station. Everything. How did Aubery even manage all this?”

“By having no fun. Also, a lot of meditation. She used to chant ‘I must not hurt Beca Mitchell’ 50 times before every practise.” You don’t know to what extent she’s joking, because you can hear Aubery doing that, a little voice in the back of your head.

“Plus I’m not one hundred per cent sure that Jesse’s got the message.”

“That you don’t want him to be your boyfriend?” You swear that Chloe’s face brightened for a second when she heard that. Which meant what, you think?

“That’s the one. Chloe, it’s only September, how is everything so stressful?”

“I think we are going to bring forward our dinner date, and in fact, I propose that you stay for the rest of the weekend. I’ll bring you into school on Monday morning.”

“Proposing already Beale? Even for you, that’s a bit quick.”

She smiles the smile that makes you want to kiss her.

You don’t.

 

 


	3. Aca-Drama

When Aca-Initiation rolls around the next weekend, you feel surprisingly well rested. After the weekend at Chloe’s, she’d persuaded you to stay over midweek as well, because she needed someone to watch some documentary about insects with her. It had been recommended by her professor but she was apparently terrified of the creepy crawleys.

So were you.

But you didn’t tell her that as she buried her head in your neck and you just tried to stop yourself from screaming. You thought you’d have nightmares for days, but the next morning you woke up feeling almost chipper. This may or may not have had something to do with the fact that you woke up in Chloe’s bed, with her arm around you. Then you turned over and promptly fell asleep again until she pushed you, almost kicking and screaming, to the shower.

Now it was Saturday and you were standing outside your dad’s house, wondering why on Earth he’d text you to meet him. And why today. He had obviously been in his workplace all week, the same place you go to school. Why not see you then?

“Beca, hi. Come in!” Your step mother was over enthusiastic to the point of being fake. Nothing new there then, “Your father is up in his office.”

The cardio must be working because you’re not out of breath when get to your dad’s office, way up at the top of the house. You knock and he calls for you to come in.

“You requested my presence.” You try your best not to snark; you and your dad get on way better than you did this time last year, thanks in part to your decision to stay on at Barden. You were holding him to his promise once you graduated though. You were still going to LA.

“I’ve been talking to your mother and we’ve decided it’s high time that you could transport yourself. Poor Chloe must be fed up of giving you lifts every where.”

You’d spent quite a lot of the summer with Chloe and she’d become a bit of a fixture around the house. Sheila loved her, because she was pretty and polite and everything you weren’t. And your dad had taught her up until last year (because some people major in biology but minor in comparative literature, apparently) and found her to be utterly charming.

“Chloe doesn’t mind. She dropped me over here; she’s coming back after she grabs some groceries to get me.”

“In any case, we have decided that you are to be trusted with your very own car. If under any circumstances you drive this car when even the tiniest bit inebriated, I will confiscate the keys and you will be walking everywhere until graduation, do you hear me?”

“Seriously? A car?” Finally, you wouldn’t have to rely on Chloe. Although now you might end up being the Bella’s designated driver. You win some, you lose some.

“A car. It’s being delivered later in the week. Although I guess it would be better off being delivered to your dorm room? Or Chloe’s?” The tone in his voice indicates that he wants to ask you questions about that. So you shut him down.

“She’s been lonely this week, so have I. No roommate, remember? How do you even know I’ve been at hers?” Your dad smiles like he knows something you don’t. It’s utterly infuriating but he has just told you that he’s buying you a car, so you can’t complain too much.

“I’ve seen you getting out of the car with her, and she dropped you over here. You know, Beca, you don’t have to hide anything from me.”

“There’s nothing to hide, Dad, it’s just…Chloe, you know. Me and Chloe, best friends, same as always.” You’re shuffling towards the door, wanting to get out of this now very awkward situation.

“You and Chloe, same as always. Message received. I’ll pick you up on Wednesday, after class and then you can drive back to wherever you choose to sleep.” You say thank you, for the first time, you realise. Chloe wouldn’t be happy about that; she thought your manners could do with some working on. And then you leave. Chloe would probably be another 15 minutes but you could walk to the store and meet her.

And think about what your dad meant.

Amy thinks you and Chloe are weirdly close, despite your insistence that you treat her exactly the same as you do any of the Bella’s. And now your dad thinks there’s something going on? This is too much thinking to handle. Chloe is just…Chloe. You’re just Beca and you’re Beca and Chloe, just two girls who have a pizza named after them and have slept in the same bed more times this week than you’ve been apart.

But that means nothing. Chloe still hasn’t bought new blankets for her spare bed, since Aubery took hers when she moved. And the pizza thing was only the guys in the shop trying to make things quicker when they wrote it down. And the fact that she has a special smile that she seems to save just for you and that makes you want to kiss her, that’s nothing. Right? There you go, with the too much thinking. You try to stop and in 5 mintues, you’ve reached the store. Finding Chloe’s car in the parking lot, you lean on it and wait.

Maybe you should ask her what she thinks. Like, does Chloe think what you’re doing is weird? Probably not, you’ve never met anyone who’s so…touchy feely as Chloe. She’s happy to be like this with everyone. Although you’ve noticed that perhaps she’s more like it with you than anyone else. Perhaps. It might just be you imagining things.

Hoping things?

You notice her before she notices you. She has a brown paper bag of groceries in one hand and a giant Icee in the other. She’s smiling, her head shaking to the music she’s playing through _your_  headphones. When did she get those? You forget to be annoyed, however, when she sees you and she beams. You never really understood why it was called beaming before, but when Chloe does it, finally it makes sense. It’s like the world is a little sunnier just for having her smiling in it.

She hands you the Icee and pulls the headphones off.

“What did your dad want?”

“Him and my mom have decided it’s high time I have my own mode of transport, so they’ve bought me a car.”

“Seriously?” She unlocks the car, dumps the groceries on the back seat. You get in and hold the cup out to her. It’s too big to fit in the tiny cup holders of her tiny beat up car.

“Seriously. It’s coming later in the week.”

“Ahh, no more sleeping in the car on the way to class then?” She’s smiling at you still and you blush. You hadn’t meant to fall asleep between her place and college on Monday morning but you’d been up late watching re runs of Friends and she had a 9am class and one thing had lead to another. Namely, you asleep in the passenger seat as she laughed at your sleep talking.

“Apparently not. I’ll be able to come see you whenever I want. Can’t get rid of me now. Do you want your drink?”

“I got it for you, thought you might need something after a conversation with your dad. And I never want to get rid of you, Miss Mitchell.”

You blush and you don’t even know why. Because Chloe never wants to get rid of you? Or because she bought you an Icee ‘just because’ you had to talk to your dad? Or just because you don’t know what the hell is going on any more and blushing is easier than thinking about it? You settle on the latter and take a gulp of your drink. Chloe starts to drive off.

“So, what are our plans for the rest of the day?”

“Me and you are picking outfits for Aca-Initiation.”

\---

Later that night, as it begins to get dark, you’re stepping carefully down into the old pool. You’ve already made your new recruits say the ridiculous oath (Aubery had made you promise) but had reassured them that they were allowed to at least talk to the Trebles.

“Although they are assholes, the lot of them,” Amy had added, as if that had ever put any woman off of any man.

You’re stepping carefully because Stacie had decided you should wear heels to initiation, so that you ‘looked like the boss’. You once again argued that you weren’t _that_ short, but put them on anyway, along with the dress you’d actually bought for last year’s New Year’s Eve party.

You would never tell anyone, but you felt good. You liked that the Trebles suddenly couldn’t take their eyes off of you. Well, Jesse never could but now all of them were watching you negotiate the steps. It was possible as well that they were looking at all of you; the Bella’s looked good tonight, ready for the first aca-party of the year.

Since when did you use aca- as a prefix? God damnit, you’re turning into Posen.

The girls are crowding around you, wondering what to do now. You make a shooing motion.

“Go forth, make good choices.”

The girls all walk off, leaving you standing, on your own. This had happened last year, you think, and you’d ended up with a very drunk Chloe getting very close to your face. Then Jesse telling you that you and him were going to have aca-children.

Seriously, the aca- as a prefix thing was just weird.

“Looking fine, Beca.”

“You’re not too bad yourself, Swanson.” Jesse hands you a cup of beer.

“Not too bad? I hope you know, this outfit took days of preparation.”

“Yeah, looks it.” He’s wearing jeans and the Breakfast Club teeshirt you bought him for his birthday. He made absolutely no effort, whatsoever.

“Hey, I showered. I found a clean shirt. What more do you want from me?”

“I spent all day going through my closet with Chloe before she eventually decided this dress was acceptable. When you’ve done that, we can talk.”

“All day with Chloe? People are going to talk.”

“Shut up Swanson, she’s my friend.”

“She’s sweet on you though.” You shake your head slowly, watching as he smiles. He’s joking about, as per usual. Chloe Beale, science nerd and beautiful acapella singer is not ‘sweet on you’. In fact, you can see her, chatting with some guy from the High Notes. And, whoops, he’s spilt his drink down her top. You excuse yourself and storm over there.

“Hey, watch it.” You take a good look at him and realise it might have been a genuine accident; this guy is as high as a kite. But then again, he is now leering at the see through patch on Chloe’s top.

“And who are you then?”

“Beca, and this is my friend you’re perving on. Now leave her alone before I make you.” The guy mumbles an apology before kind of shuffling off towards the rest of the High Notes.

“Dayum Mitchell, where did that come from?”

Where did that come from indeed, you ask yourself? Chloe is perfectly capable of looking after herself and yet you feel like you need to jump in and save her from this guy. You take a sizable gulp of your beer.

“I just…didn’t like the way he was looking at you. Are you alright?”

“I’m fine, there’s just beer down my shirt. Thank you for saving me Beca.”

You blush and mumble that it’s nothing. Then Chloe’s hugging you and you can smell her hair and it’s just delightful. You feel so comfortable when the two of you are that close and that’s just _weird_ because you don’t like people being that close to you. But Chloe’s hugging you and suddenly, everything just feels alright. When she lets go, she looks a tiny bit embarrassed. Instead of talking about it, you drag her towards the improvised dance floor in the deep end. Five minutes later, she’s laughing again. 20 minutes later, you’re exhausted and know you’ve drunk too much.

“I should let you get back to Jesse.” You take her hand, urging her to stay.

“It’s fine, we weren’t talking about anything important.”

“I see how it is, Mitchell. Nothing important indeed.” Jesse’s suddenly behind you and you know he’s been watching the entire time. So now he’s going to think you’re sweet on Chloe. Even though neither of you are sweet on either of the other. You’re confused again. Too much thinking, not enough beer. You take another mouthful. It’s warm and kind of disgusting but it’s starting to shut out the voices in your head.

“So, what were you talking about?” Chloe asks Jesse. You realise that this is probably the first time the two of them have actually spoken. You’re best friends with both of them but most definitely separately. You watch as Jesse notes your linked hands and gets a look on his face akin to the one he got when you told him movies were stupid.

“I was telling Beca that if you two spend any more time with one another, people are going to start to talk. That is, if they haven’t already.”

“Jesse, if it is just you talking, it doesn’t count as people.” He shoots you his patented ‘shut up Beca’ look then just smiles at Chloe. You don’t like that smile. He’s challenging her, trying to get her to say the wrong thing.

“Let them talk. Beca’s the best. Why wouldn’t I want to spend all the time with her?” Jesse gets that smile wiped off his face. He wasn’t expecting that then.

“Beca is the best; I just hope you’re alright to share.” You want to tell Jesse he’s being a jerk, but you also want to know what Chloe’s going to say next. Not that it matters. You are strictly friends with both of them and you are more than capable of spending time with both of them. They don’t have to share you.

“Don’t I get a say in this?” You step in front of Chloe, almost nose to nose with Jesse, “Jesse, I think you’ve had too much to drink, back off alright?”

“Seriously, I’ve had too much to drink? Look at her.” Chloe is leaning slightly on you, but at least she’s not mouthing off to Jesse. You could really have done without this today.

“She’s not being a jerk though, is she? Cool off Jesse, I’ll see you later, alright?” Jesse looks like he’s about to say something but then he storms off. You’ll deal with that in the morning, you think, before turning back to Chloe.

“Sorry about him.”

“He still likes you, doesn’t he?”

“Yeah, maybe he didn’t take it as well as I thought when I said that I just wanted to be friends.”

“I can see why he still likes you Beca. You really are the best.”

“Yes, you clearly are completely hammered. Stay there, I’m going to find you a bottle of water.” You walk off into the crowd, towards the makeshift bar. You find Cynthia Rose and Stacie behind it, handing over cups of something that smells delightfully fruity.

“Have you got any water?” Cynthia Rose hands over a bottle and smiles at you.

“Having a bit too much fun Chief?”

“No, this is for Chloe, I’m fine.”

“I’m talking about Chloe. We saw you dancing with her.”

“It was hot.” Stacie chimes in. You suddenly feel the need for a cup of their punch.

“She’s really drunk. It doesn’t mean anything.”

“Hey, what’s up with Jesse?” Amy comes and stands next to you, “He’s grumpier than a shark with a black eye.”

“He started on Chloe, getting all jealous, I told him to back off.” You grab a cup of something which is hopefully alcoholic and you drain it. Who knew acapella was full of so much drama?

“Oh. No wonder he’s pissed then.”

“Why has he suddenly got such a right to be so jealous? Chloe is my friend.”

The other girls look at one another and you can’t quite read it. When Amy shrugs, you huff and walk off, back towards where you left Chloe. You find her sitting with her back against the wall, staring at the stars.

“Hey, Beca, you came back!”

“Of course I did, here, have some water.” You pass her the bottle and take a seat next to her.

“I mean it Beca, you are the best thing that happened to Barden and the Bella’s and me.” She’s smiling at you and her face just looks ridiculous. Her fingers start tracing a pattern on your arm.

“I guess you’re a pretty cool addition to my life as well, Chlo.”

“I didn’t mean to upset Jesse earlier.”

“I know, he was just being a jerk.”

“He’s sweet on you.” She leans on you, still not catching your eyes. The sky is infinitely more interesting, apparently.

“Funny, he said the same thing about you earlier.”

What happens next takes you by surprise. Chloe reaches up to brush the hair out of your face and places a gentle kiss on the corner of your mouth.

“Thank you for looking after me tonight, Beca.”

“You’re welcome.” 


	4. Big Bella's Bonding Weekend

It’s been two weeks since initiation and while you swear you’re not avoiding Jesse or Chloe, it just so happens that you haven’t been in the same places as either of them in the meantime. You’ve also taken to taking long car drives in your brand new shiny car and listening to the radio really loud. You’re stressed and everyone knows it.

One day, Aubery calls. You ignore it the first three times, and pick up on the 4th when you realise she’s not giving up. She makes small talk for about five minutes before bringing up the elephant in the room.

“Chloe says you haven’t called in a while.”

“We’ve both been really busy. She’s not called me either.”

“You’re so dense, Mitchell.”

Then you small talk for a while longer, as if Chloe had never been mentioned. It’s fucking weird, you think, when you put the phone down. Aubery never normally dances around the problem with you but it seems like she’s being deliberately vague now. You sigh and continue working on the new mix for the Bella’s practise.

Not that practise is much better. You’re tense to a level that could rival Aubery and it rubs off on everyone else. When you’ve split up the second fight that day (between Fat Amy and Stacie about god knows what) you sit everyone down.

“I don’t even want to know what that was about, but it can’t happen. We don’t have time to fight amongst ourselves.”

“Sorry Beca, but everything seems so strained at the moment. Like there’s something wrong with all of us. Maybe we need to take a break.”

“Maybe. Let’s leave it here for now and we’ll do something this weekend. Something to remind us how good we all are together.”

Later, you get back to your room after dinner with your dad to find you’ve been invited to the ‘Big Bella’s Bonding Weekend’ on Facebook. One of Amy’s boyfriend’s has lent you his cabin by the lake, and you leave after class lets out on Friday. No excuses, apparently.

Your heart starts pounding when you see Chloe’s name on the attending list. She’s not even a Bella anymore, the voice in your head protests. Not that that stopped her coming to the meeting after auditions. Or initiation night.

Where she got drunk and kissed you.

Fast forward two weeks and you’re actually terrified of seeing her. You text Amy.

_So…Chloe? X_

  _We haven’t seen her in ages, she might get lonely. Have you two had a fight? X_

_No. Nothing like that, just curious x_

Suddenly there’s a knock on the door. You shout at them to come in.

“I could have been a murderer.” You roll your eyes at Jesse, “But I’m not and I came with a peace offering.” He holds up coffee and a blueberry muffin and you take both.

“Sit,” you gesture to your unmade bed. For the first time in living memory, he just sits, doesn’t spread himself out like a starfish.

“I’m really sorry about hood night. If you’re happy with Chloe, I want to be happy for you.”

“Chloe and I are just friends, not even that at the moment. So there’s nothing for you to be happy about.”

“You’re not speaking?” You watch as Jesse’s eyes light up. You knew this would happen and it’s why you haven’t spoken to him about it. Well, you haven’t spoken to him at all, but if you had been, you wouldn’t have mentioned Chloe.

“Something happened at Hood Night and she doesn’t remember and I do and it was stupid and I was drunk, so there’s no point thinking about it.” Jesse realises that you do not want to talk about Chloe, and for once, lets it rest. He’s not your therapist, you don’t have to open up to him.

You wait for it to get awkward, but it doesn’t. Jesse reaches into his bag and gets a book out and you turn back to your laptop. You type out a quick comment, saying that you can’t wait, and close Facebook. You bring your latest mix up and play around with it for half an hour. Then you do the unthinkable.

“Would you listen to this? I need a second opinion.”

Jesse ends up staying on the spare bed in your room and you think that he’s actually kind of cute when he’s asleep. In the morning, he lets himself out and when you hear a knock on the door, you think it’s him, coming back for his jacket or something.

You roll over to find Chloe standing in the door frame, surveying the fact that you are still wearing yesterday’s jeans and teeshirt and the fact that the spare bed has obviously been slept in. You think she sighs in relief a little, but then her face goes completely blank as you catch her eye.

“If it’s a bad time, I can come back.” She’s in her gym kit, and she’s a little out of breath, as if she ran over here.

“No, no, not a bad time. Come in.” You tap the spare space in your bed and she sits down. She smells different to usual, almost salty, which you realise is because she probably did run over here and even the almost perfect Chloe Beale sweats.

“Did I do something, you know, at Hood Night? Because I thought we were fine and now you’re avoiding me.”

“We were both just really drunk and you went to kiss my cheek and got the corner of my mouth. But it’s ok, I know it doesn’t mean anything. I just felt a bit awkward.” Chloe’s started laughing and you wonder if you’ll ever understand her. She slides down so she’s lying next to you. You’ve never quite appreciated until now how well her eyes stand out or how pretty they are.

“Is that all? You stopped talking to me for two weeks because of that? Gosh Beca, I didn’t realise you were such a prude.”

You want to add that you stopped talking to her because you think you liked it, but you don’t necessarily know that to be a fact. You were very drunk, after all, and you wanted to get back at Jesse and everyone was just being so vague that it was a very confusing night. Not that any of the nights since had been any less confusing.

“I am not a prude. I sang in the shower with you, didn’t I?”

“After I threatened to not leave. Not like you did it voluntarily.”

“Because I voluntarily sing to naked girls in the shower all the time.” It was too early and Chloe was too close for you two to be having this conversation. You yawn, which must be really nice for her, what with your morning breath. She scrunches up her face in disdain.

“I need more sleep, are you in or out?” Chloe pulls the cover over herself and settles down next to you.

“I have to be up in an hour. Some of us have classes you know.”

You shush her and fall back asleep; trying to ignore how much easier it is when she’s here.

\---

Suddenly it’s Friday afternoon and you’re attempting to pack for the bonding weekend. All you’ve been told is to bring swim wear. It’s unseasonably warm for late September and you thank your lucky stars that it’s not forecast to rain this weekend.

20 minutes later, and you’re sat in your car, waiting for Cynthia-Rose and Amy. Your headphones are on, the sun is shining and you really can’t wait to get there. You just wish the girls would hurry up, or you’ll get stuck in rush hour traffic. You hear the trunk open and close and then the passenger side door open. You slide your headphones off and turn to face Chloe. Who looks about as happy as you feel.

“Someone’s excited.” You couldn’t have everyone knowing how excited you were for the bonding activities.

“I am! The lake is beautiful. I get to spend time with my friends. And there’s an entire crate of beers in the back of your car.”

“Only in it for the alcohol, are you Beale?”

“How else am I meant to get your sweet lady kisses, Mitchell?” You swear you’re blushing as red as her hair. Of course, you’re not sure how drunk you’d have to be to let her kiss you, but she doesn’t need to know that. You hope this weekend doesn’t get weird.

“Hey Chief, hey Chloe.” Cynthia-Rose and Amy are here now, and you can actually get the show on the road. The drive up is fun, with the radio up loud and your voices harmonising perfectly. You almost miss Aubery for a second, who would have probably really enjoyed this kind of thing. Although with her, you would have ended up hiking and camping and you much prefer Amy’s plan of drinking beer and swimming in the lake.

The cabin is really cute, right on the edge of the lake. The other two cars show up just after you and the girls start discussing who’s sharing what room with who. You don’t really care who you end up with so you take a walk down to the lake shore. The sun is beginning to go down. It is really beautiful out here.

“So…you and Chloe.” Cynthia-Rose is really good at sneaking up on people.

“So, me and Chloe?”

“You don’t talk for two weeks, she shows up at your door after you and Jesse have had a sleepover and suddenly you’re fine again.”

“How do you…who told you…”

“People talk. Some people see more than others.”

“Jesse slept in the spare bed. And Chloe…she kissed me at Hood Night, but it’s nothing. She was drunk, missed my cheek.”

“Sure. Nothing.”

“She confuses me. I want to know whether I’d like it so much if she kissed me sober but I don’t like her like that. She’s my friend. My best friend.”

“Well, your best friend wants to get the grill fired up and there’s a steak with my name on it up there. So are you coming back or what?”

You walk back in companionable silence. You guess that maybe Cynthia-Rose understands what you’re trying to deal with. Maybe that’s why she doesn’t push until you get back to the house.

“I know everything seems like it’s too much right now, but when it’s not…just go with it. Alright?”

“Alright.”

You find the others in lawn chairs outside the cabin and Chloe is standing in front of the biggest BBQ you have ever seen, watching as it heats up.

“Never pegged you for the BBQ type, Chlo.”

“I am full of surprises, shortstack. We’re sharing by the way.”

“I figured we would be.” You stand next to her and rest a hand on her lower back. You feel her relax, just like you hoped she would. You watch as she starts putting meat and corn on to the grill. She looks so in her element and you wonder if she’s ever not. She’s so clever, so creative, so domestic. It’s ridiculous, no one should be that good at everything.

“Can you get the girls over here, and get me a beer?” You nod and walk over to where the girls have started playing drinking games. Already. At this rate, they’re going to be too hungover for a day at the lake tomorrow. You grab some beers and tell the girls that food’s almost done. They form something resembling an orderly queue and take food from Chloe, who looks more chilled out than you’ve seen her since graduation.

You’re glad. You feel bad that you’ve point blank ignored her for the last couple of weeks, because she’s the kind of person who thrives on friendship and conversation. And with Aubery gone, she doesn’t have anyone but you around who’s as close to her as you are. Dropping out of her life wasn’t the best decision you’d ever made.

“I’m sorry.” You blurt out.

“Sorry for what?”

“The whole not talking to you thing. It’s all…really confusing. But maybe, when it’s less confusing, we can talk about it?”

“Of course we can. I saved you a burger, no salad, extra barbeque sauce.” Just the way you like it, you think. You smile at her and she smiles back.

Yes, this weekend is going to be wonderful.

\---

“Never Have I Ever!” Amy screeches. You roll your eyes; you thought you’d grown out of that game in high school, but apparently not. You take your place at the table, squashed next to Chloe.

“Hey there partner.”

“Hey there. You alright?”

“Cynthia-Rose has been plying me with alcohol but I said no…most of the time.” She giggles, and then slides her arm around your waist. It feels nice, like when she hugs you. You feel calm.

“Alright, aca-bitches, you know how this works. I say some shit that I have never done, you drink if you have. So…never have I ever fooled around in my room mate’s bed.”

Stacie and Chloe drank.

“Whoa, Red, are you telling me you fooled around in Aubery’s bed?” Cynthia-Rose was laughing so hard you could see tears falling down her face.

“I was hella drunk and I made it on to the wrong bed. I never told her, she’d kill me.”

Stacie stood up to take her turn at the questioning.

“Never have I ever seen the person next to me naked.”

You and Chloe are the only two who drink. You feel you owe some kind of explanation.

“Someone felt the need to tell me that I had a wonderful voice while I was showering and then wouldn’t leave until I sung with her.” You roll your eyes and Chloe looks hurt, “Aww, baby, you know I wouldn’t have sung naked with anyone else.”

“You’re so sweet Beca, you must charm all the girls.” Chloe flutters her eyelashes at you and the other girls pretend to puke.

“Well, now that’s explained away, who’s next?” Amy asks. You stay focused and drink when you should but your mind is racing now. You think about the way Chloe looked in the shower, the way her eyes ran up and down your body. You are willing to admit to yourself that Chloe is sexy and you wouldn’t mind seeing her naked again, in a kind of, it wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world way.

Amy’s up again.

“Never have I ever kissed a fellow Bella.” Stacie drinks, so do Cynthia-Rose and her girlfriend, or ex, or whatever, who’s name you are too drunk to remember. Chloe drinks hesitantly. No one seems all that surprised.

“Beca, c’mon, drink.” Amy looks really confused.

“What? I have never kissed any of the Bellas. I rebelled, I decided the Trebles were more my thing.”

“I thought Aubery was going to murder you. Like, I thought I saw the smoke coming from her nostrils.” Lilly is way more talkative when she’s drunk, and way more normal. Nothing about gills or eating her twin in the womb or whatever.

“I could hear her reciting ‘I must not hurt Beca Mitchell’ under her breath.” Everyone laughs at Chloe’s remark, but you don’t think she’s joking. Aubery hated that you’d kissed Jesse, but you think she hated the fact that you’d come back and let Chloe fall at your feet at the after-party more. She worried more about Chloe than anyone else.

“Shame really, Jesse turned out to be a bit of an ass.”

“Chloe Beale, are you being mean?” Stacie pulls a shocked face, “I never thought I’d see the day.”

“He was being horrible at hood night, saying that if Beca and I kept spending too much time together, people would start to talk. Like, what are people going to talk about? There go Chloe and Beca, they’re good friends.” You’ve never heard her sound so bitter and you realise that she remembers the whole night much better than you thought she did.

Does that mean she remembered the kiss?

“He’s just jealous that Beca said no to him when we all know she can’t say no to you,” Cynthia winks suggestively at you and you sigh. This is all getting a little out of hand. Everyone has had far too much to drink.

“At a risk of sounding like Posen, I think we all need to get to bed. We have all had way too much alcohol and tomorrow is our bonding day, remember? So back inside everyone, find your roomies and scram.”

The girls complain, but comply, walking back into the cabin until it’s just you and Chloe sitting out on the lawn.

“Want to go down to the lake?”

“I knew I’d kissed you, Beca. I didn’t strictly mean to kiss your mouth, but, yeah, I remember kissing you. And I remember you taking me home and letting me fall asleep on your bed. And then I left because I felt like it might be awkward.”

Wow. You hadn’t expected that.

“I’m sorry, Chloe. I just…we’re still friends, right?” She smiles and you melt and it’s becoming a familiar feeling.

You find you don’t care.

“Of course. I never want to not be your friend. Now, I think we should take your advice.”

“Yeah, I’m beat.” You take Chloe’s hand and let her lead you back into the house. You say good night to the other girls, who are still awake, giggling in their sleeping bags and walk towards the back bedroom. Chloe shuts the door and you think how peaceful it is in here. All you can hear is Chloe’s soft breathing.

“How did you snag us our own room?”

“Told the others you snore.”

“Seriously! At least I don’t sing in my sleep.”

“Shut up, you think that’s adorable.” Chloe’s undressing now, exposing more pale skin than you care to think about. The moonlight is streaming through the windows and illuminating her perfectly. You can’t stop looking.

“You’re so beautiful, Chlo.”

“Thank you. Now, are you coming to bed?” You strip off quickly and put on your pyjamas, which Chloe has left on your pillow, neatly folded. Then you slide in next to her and put your arms around her.

“Night Chloe.”

“Beca?”

“Yeah?”

“I love you.”

“I love you too.” 


	5. Moving too fast (or too slow?)

It’s early November and the weekend of late summer sun back in September feels like a million years ago. You can’t believe how much work you have and what time you’re not in rehearsals, you spend with the girls studying and when you’re not there, you’re at the radio station, more often than not with Chloe sitting next to you, writing papers or something. And when you have a spare moment, when you don’t need to sleep, you normally end up at Chloe’s watching bad TV or, very occasionally, at Jesse’s where he continues your moviecation and asks how things are with you and Chloe.

It makes you feel a little strange.

Things with Chloe are fine. You’ve started staying over there more and more often, because then at least she’s not worried you’re surviving on badly cooked ramen and Red Bull and you know she’s actually going to bed at a vaguely reasonable hour. But other than that, nothing’s changed. You’re still best friends.

In fact, Chloe’s is where you’re headed now, because you’ve actually got a whole night off after handing in your last paper of the week and giving the girls a night off because you’re all completely strung out. Plus Chloe said she’s got something to ask you and that she’s made your favourite meal for dinner.

You knock on the door and Chloe opens it, a huge smile on her face.

“I thought you were never going to get here.”

“I’m sorry, I know, the traffic was awful.”

“It’s ok, come sit down.”

You walk over to the couch and collapse. She comes over behind you and starts rubbing the back of your neck.

“You’re so tense.”

“Mmm, it’s been a stressful couple of weeks. That feels incredible.” You tip your head back and let Chloe work her magic. Her fingers run through your hair and massage your head, “ _Chloe…”_

Your voice comes out far lower than you expect, and you can hear Chloe gasp. You did effectively just moan her name. Her fingers don’t stop though and they start to dance on your throat. It’s so gentle and it gives you goosebumps.

“Feel good?”

“Mmm, fucking incredible. What was it you wanted to ask me?”

“Language, Mitchell. I was just thinking that…I have a spare room and rent in this city is kind of ridiculous. And you have no room-mate and spend enough time here. Basically, what I’m saying is I want you to move into the spare room.”

The spare room that still has no new blankets. That you’ve never slept in despite the fact that you sleep here at least 3 nights out of every week. That spare room.

“You don’t think we’re moving too fast then?” Chloe laughs and comes to join you on the couch.

“I’ve seen you naked, we’ve kissed, I think this is just a natural progression.”

“Charming as usual, Chloe.”

“Is that a yes?”

“Yes, Chloe Beale, I’ll move into your spare room.”

As in, your stuff would live in the spare room. You could set it up as a pretty cool place to mix in, put some decent speakers in there and everything. But bedtime would come and you’d find yourself in Chloe’s bed, wrapped in her arms.

That’s not confusing at all.

She leans over and throws her arms around you. Her lips find your cheek and you revel in the contact.

“This is so exciting! Anyway, come through, I made dinner.” She grabs your hand and pulls you through to the kitchen. The food smells great.

“Did you make your ribs?”

“I did make ribs and French fries and corn.”

“Chloe Beale, you are perfect.”

“I try my best.” You sit down while she plates up dinner and you eat. It’s great to catch up with her; you’ve both been so busy and you’ve been so tired or wrapped up in other things when you’ve seen her recently.

“I went on a date the other night,” she mentions off hand. Your fork stops in front of your face, your jaw almost on your chest. Chloe hadn’t mentioned anything.

“She’s in one of my labs, we went for dinner.”

“Will there be a second date?” you manage to get out. What is wrong with you? You knew Chloe dated. You even knew she dated women. But her actually having a date seemed to be giving you a minor heart attack. Which was weird.

“I don’t think so. She was…funny about…well, funny about us.”

“Us?”

“Our friendship. She said we seemed very close for friends. She didn’t feel comfortable with it.” You begin clearing the empty dishes and wondering what on earth to say to that.

“I’m sorry. I don’t want to get in the way of your relationships. Maybe I should just stay in dorms.”

“Hey, no.” Chloe gets up and starts rubbing your shoulders again. You almost drop the dishes you’re holding, “If someone I’m dating doesn’t like that we’re friends, I don’t want to date them, ok? And I want you to move in.” You say nothing for a moment, just letting her massage your neck.

“Mmm, you’re so good with your hands.”

“You don’t even know how good.” You do drop the dishes this time, you’re so flustered by the tone of Chloe’s voice in your ear. One of them smashes on the floor and the other lands on your foot. Chloe chuckles in your ear, “One less to wash up I guess. You don’t have to smash my crockery to get out of cleaning, you know.”

“You are such a tease. Come on, I’ll wash the single plate and I’ll meet you in bed.”

“Mm’kay, don’t keep me waiting.” You scrub the plate until you’re pretty sure it’s glowing. That was…weird. Like, you and Chloe are flirty. But you’ve never been flirty like that with her. She’s never sounded so…hot. You put the plate on the drainer and take a deep breath. You feel like you should find a blanket and go sleep in what is now your room. But really, you want to crawl into bed next to Chloe and watch crappy TV and fall asleep in her arms.

Which is totally normal friendship behaviour.

Right?

“Beca Mitchell, get your perky little butt into my bed.”

“Coming.”

You walk into the room to find Chloe transfixed by the television. There’s one of those fashion programs on that you don’t actually understand. You get changed into an old Bella’s tee shirt and crawl into bed.

“I can change the channel, if you like?”

“No, leave it, I’m going to sleep soon anyway.”

“Are you sure?”

“Mmm, I’m sleepy.” Chloe’s bed is just the most comfortable place you’ve ever been. She switches the TV off and wraps her arms around you.

“Night roomie.”

“Night Chloe.”

\---

The Bellas are in your room, helping you pack boxes to move to Chloe’s. There’s a fair amount of jokes about how fast the two of you are moving, but you don’t mind. You’re getting used to it now, the good natured teasing that only occurs amongst friends. Once all the boxes are packed and you’re taking a break with a lot of Chinese food, there’s a knock on the door.

“Come in,” Amy shouts. The door opens and Jesse walks in. He looks around at all the boxes in confusion. So, you might not have told him you were moving off campus. You were going to text him, but then you remembered Hood Night and you kind of clammed up.

“What’s with the boxes?”

“Well you see, a prince has asked me to marry him. I leave for farthest Peru in the morning,” you roll your eyes at him and smile, “I’m moving, into Chloe’s spare room.”

“Seriously?”

“Seriously. She asked last week. Seems to make sense, I spend half my time there anyway. What’s up bro?”

“I was just wondering if you wanted to get dinner sometime. Just the two of us.” The Bellas look at you expectantly. They’ve heard exactly what went down on Hood Night and they kind of don’t like Jesse now. But he’s your friend and you feel kind of sorry for him, standing there in this room of girls who want to cause him serious pain for being a jerk to Chloe.

You’ve realised that it’s not just you and Aubrey who look after Chloe, it’s everyone. You feel a little better about standing up to the guy who spilt his drink on her after Amy threatened to rip a man’s balls off and make him eat them when he tried to grab Chloe on the dance floor at the club you went to last weekend, or when Stacie actually kicked him when he tried a second time. There was something about Chloe; something just hugely vulnerable that you all felt needed protecting.

“Sure, why not? Tomorrow, after I’ve got all these boxes over to Chloe’s?”

“Sounds good, see you then.” With that, he turns and leaves. The girls all look at you.

“Did you just make a date with the enemy?”

“Did you just make a date with Jesse?”

“What’s Chloe going to say?”

“Guys, we are friends, we are having dinner, nothing more to it than that. And even if it was, Chloe and I aren’t actually married. We are allowed to date. Now, is there more rice?”

You manage to deflect conversation away from you and Jesse for the rest of the evening.

\---

The not a date situation is made easier by the fact that Chloe has some kind of mixer for the Science department the following night. You tell her you’re meeting with Jesse as you leave and she’s getting ready. She looks incredible and blushes when you tell her so. You kiss her on the cheek as you leave (this has become your new ‘thing’; kisses on the cheek when you meet up, when one of you leaves, before you fall asleep) and leave a ghost of a lipstick stain on her cheek. She sighs before rubbing it off.

See.

Totally not married.

At all.

Jesse has told you to meet him at your favourite Mexican place, just off campus. You get there 5 minutes late because you were daydreaming in the parking lot about the fact that you were rooming with Chloe now. It felt so much more adult to live in an apartment than in a room where your sofa and your bed were the same thing.

“Hey, sorry I’m late.”

“It’s ok…here, let me.” He helps you take off your jacket and puts it on the back of the chair.

“Thanks. How have you been?”

“This and that. Trying to get the Trebles into shape hasn’t been easy. And there’s so much work to do. I met a cute girl the other day as well, we’re going out this week. How about you? All moved in now?”

Hearing about Jesse having a date felt weird. Like, not as weird as Chloe having a date, but still. You thought he was still hung up on you. He’d certainly made it feel that way whenever he saw you and Chloe together on campus, which was a lot. But good for him, if he could put himself out there and actually date.

“Well, all my boxes are in, so I guess so. Nothing’s unpacked though, so I guess I’ll be sleeping on the sofa tonight.”

“You expect me to believe that?” It was a pretty thin lie, but you tried to use it on everyone. You didn’t want them to know that you shared Chloe’s bed. It was hard enough convincing yourself it was normal, let alone convincing other people.

“What do you mean?”

“That night I stayed over, you kept murmuring in your sleep ‘Chloe, move’ and ‘Chlo, give the cover back’. I don’t think you sleep on Chloe’s couch.”

“You’ve found me out Swanson! I sleep in Chloe’s bed and she hogs the covers. It’s no biggie.”

“Yeah, sure. No biggie. So, how’s the radio show going?” The rest of the meal is pleasant enough, just like old times really. You steal food off of Jesse’s plate and he pretends like he’s going to starve to death. He tells you about his Music for Movies class, which is, according to him, the best thing that has ever happened to anyone, ever. You tell him about your music technology class, which is really fun but a lot of hard work. You love it but being told how to do things you taught yourself 4 years ago is getting a little tedious. Eventually, you’re the last people left in the restaurant.

“We should get going Jesse, they want to close up.”

“Alright.” You settle the check, which he insists on trying to pay all of. Eventually, he lets you split it. As you walk back towards the parking lot, he takes your hand and it feels nice. You feel like maybe, you could get used to dinner with Jesse and arguing over the bill and letting him hold your hand. When you reach your car, you try to let go but he holds on.

“Beca…can’t we try again?”

“Jesse, look…I came here to have dinner with a friend. I’m not interested in dating right now. I have enough on my plate as it is.”

“Tell me truthfully, is there something between you and Chloe?”

“Chloe has nothing to do with this, Jesse. You’re my friend and I don’t want to fuck that up just so you can get in my pants.”

Chloe has a lot to do with this and still you don’t want to think about why. You don’t want to think about Hood Night or how she’d looked when you told her you were seeing Jesse tonight. You weren’t sure that your insistence that it wasn’t a date helped or not.

“That’s what you think this is? I just think we’re good together Beca, I think we work. But if that’s how you feel, alright. I’ll stop trying so hard. See you around.” He turns and walks off. It’s starting to become a bit of a pattern for you; you get angry, Jesse storms off. You don’t think this one’s going to be so easily solved with a cup of coffee and a blueberry muffin though. You feel tears streaming down your cheeks as you get in the car and drive off. You negotiate the streets between the restaurant and Chloe’s about twice as fast as you think you should, praying that you can get back before Chloe does. You don’t want to have to explain your tear stained face to her.

No such luck. When you get in, she’s sitting at the kitchen table with a cup of green tea steaming in front of her. You walk straight past and through to her room, throwing your jacket on the couch as you go past. As you get undressed, you hear her footsteps behind you.

“I don’t want to talk about it.”

 “Ok. Want to get into bed?” You nod, suddenly feeling pathetic in your plain jane underwear. Chloe takes your hand and pulls you towards the bed. Five seconds later, you feel her behind you, and realise that she’s in just her underwear too. Her skin feels good against yours, strangely comforting, and you feel your eyelids fluttering down, although you could have sworn you weren’t tired when you opened the door.

She presses a kiss to your shoulder and tells you she loves you.

You murmur that you love her too.

And you fall asleep.

 


	6. Everything at once and nothing at all

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> BE WARNED.   
> This is angsty. There is some Jeca shit in here so don't give me hell about that. There's also some M rated stuff (sexy stuff) so you know, don't read it if it's going to offend you or what not.

Aubery’s here for Thanksgiving and the apartment is such a whirlwind of screaming and giggling that you just can’t take it. You showed Aubery your room, with its still packed boxes and the sheets still in a pile on the floor. You don’t even have to make an excuse. She hugs you and wordlessly starts to make the bed. You slip out, tell Chloe you’re going to campus to see Cynthia and you almost run out of there. Once in the car, you don’t know what to do. Practise is off for the holidays and even Luke’s given you a few days off. You think that might be because of the completely sour atmosphere between you and Jesse, but you’re not sure. All you know is you’re on holiday and Jesse’s not.

Jesse.

You miss him, you miss him like crazy but you’ll be damned if you have to apologise to him. He, in your head, should be the one to apologise to you. You shift the car into drive and ten minutes later find yourself in front of a bar, one that you vaguely remember Amy bringing you to before you all left for summer. The guy on the door barely looks at you and the woman behind the bar doesn’t card you when you order a beer. So that’s score one for Beca today.

You can’t stand to drink alone. You think about calling Amy, but then you feel like you’d owe her an explanation as to why you were here and not back at the apartment with Aubery. And you don’t think you have one.

It’s kind of Jesse, missing him and regretting what you said to him the night you moved into the apartment.

It’s kind of the eggshells Chloe’s been treading on around you the last few weeks because you’ve been so angry and closed off that you snap at any tiny thing.

It’s kind of the piled up sheets and still full boxes in your room. It’s the drawer full of your clothes in Chloe’s chest so that you don’t have to go out into the freezing hall to get them from your room. It’s the look Aubery gave you when she saw it.

It’s everything at once and nothing at all.

So you finish the beer, pay for it and leave. You feel buzzed, like you could do anything. Not that you should do anything with your car; your father’s threat ringing in your ears. But still, it’s only a 5 minute drive to campus and to Jesse and to hopefully forgetting whatever the fuck is wrong with you right now.

\---

You arrive at Jesse’s 10 minutes later after struggling to find a space to park your car. You knock on the door and pray it’s him that answers.

“Beca, what are you doing here?”

You step forward and kiss him. It’s hard and it’s rough and it’s nothing like the kiss you shared after the performance at Nationals because you don’t even think you like him that way anymore. But it’s a kiss and it feels good. As good as a kiss can when you don’t care about the other person.

“Please, don’t ask.”

You push him back towards his bed, which as usual, is a complete mess. When he sits down, you straddle his lap and begin kissing him again. This time, he kisses back, his tongue in your mouth. He’s holding your hips to stop you from falling off and his fingers brush your stomach. They’re rough and they feel huge, nothing like Chloe’s delicate touch. Which is not what you’re here to think about.

“Beca, stop. We have to talk about this.” Jesse’s voice is quiet and sweet and you’d almost forgotten he’s a person with _feelings._ Right now, you don’t want to feel anything at all.

“No. No, we don’t.” You pull your shirt off, wishing you’d put on nicer underwear this morning. Your fingers reach for the buttons on his, undoing them slowly. He looks completely lost for words. That’s new.

“Not that I’m complaining about all this,” he gestures to you, topless on his lap, “but I’m pretty sure we fought two weeks ago because you thought all I wanted was in your pants.”

“So don’t complain. Just don’t think.” He lets you push his shirt off his shoulders and groans when your lips meet his neck. He’s stopped trying to push you away and instead pulls you down on top of him. You suck and you bite and you know that he’s going to be in trouble with that girl he’s probably taken on about 4 incredibly romantic dates by now but you don’t care.

The walls have gone up again and all you want is this. Sex with someone, it could have been anyone. It’s just that Jesse is the only person you know at Barden who actually wanted to have sex with you at some point in the past. And you know that he won’t tell everyone what you did.

You wonder how quickly his mind switched from ‘let’s talk about this Beca’ to ‘let’s take all your clothes off Beca’ but suddenly you’re both naked and his hands are everywhere at once and you can’t actually remember feeling this free in a long time. He’s not rough, not like you are with him, all teeth and nails, but caring, almost loving. He scrabbles around in his nightstand drawer and comes back with an unopened package of condoms. You wonder if he’s had them since the beginning of freshman year and that’s the first time you feel guilty.

You don’t even know if Jesse’s done this before. Like, you’re pretty sure he didn’t last year because, well, he was so hung up on you and you definitely didn’t have sex with anyone last year, let alone Jesse. And maybe he did before he came to college, but he’s never mentioned it. Never really mentioned any girlfriends at all.

You feel guilty for a moment, but by then he’s actually managed to get one on and then he’s inside you and you actually wow in your head, because you would never have imagined sex with Jesse Swanson would actually feel this good. It helps that he cares about you and his hands are still everywhere, teasing and stroking. But he’s getting rougher now, rougher like guys get when they’re getting closer and closer to climax.

But you like it because the less he cares, the less you have to care.

And when it’s over, he lies there and the silence is the most uncomfortable you’ve ever shared. You want to move and get dressed but you feel like you should say something, say anything because you’re pretty sure you can feel the friendship crumbling in front of you eyes.

He leans over and kisses you on the cheek.

“We don’t have to talk about it. But when you want to, I’m here.”

Suddenly, there’s a frantic knocking on the door. Jesse climbs out of bed and grabs his boxers and a shirt. It’s not his shirt. When the door opens, bright light from the hallway floods in and hurts your eyes.

“Oh, sorry. I didn’t mean to…I’m interrupting something.” What the hell is Chloe doing here? “Wait, is…is Beca here?” She saw the shirt. It’s huge on you, but must only just fit Jesse. Why couldn’t he have grabbed one of the other shirts that litter his floor?

“Urm…yeah, she is.”

“Oh. Ok. Tell her I’ll see her when she comes home, alright? And sorry, you know for interrupting.” You don’t think you have ever got dressed quicker in your life. You pull one of Jesse’s shirts on and push past him as he tries to close the door. He nods and he knows. You know he knows that you two will sort things out eventually but right now, you need to talk to Chloe and sort out whatever kind of fucked up situation the two of you have going on.

You look around the parking lot and Chloe’s car is gone. You get in yours and drive back to the apartment. If Chloe has got back before you and told Aubery, she is going to be furious with you. Fraternization with the enemy and all that. Eventually, you buck up the courage to go back up there.

Aubery’s gone to bed already, or has at least made it look like she has, to give you and Chloe some space. Chloe is sitting on the couch, staring at the TV. It’s on but you don’t think she’s watching. She doesn’t make any indication that she’s heard you come in. You try to sneak back to her room. Your room. The room.

“We can’t not talk about this Beca.” So she did hear you.

“Well, sure we can. I can go have a shower and then we can go to bed and wake up in the morning and forget it.”

“What I mean is we’re talking about this.”

“Are we really?”

“Yes, we are. Since when has Cynthia-Rose’s meant Jesse’s bed?”

“What is it to you? I can sleep with whoever the fuck I want.”

“And you want to sleep with Jesse? You haven’t spoken to him in two weeks because you thought all he wanted to do was get into your pants.”

You’ve never heard Chloe so angry. She’s got up now, is walking towards you. You want to tell her to keep it down, or Aubery will hear, but you know Aubery knows already.

“What if I do want to sleep with him? Why do you care so much?”

“I don’t care, do whatever the fuck you want. Just don’t expect to go out and fuck some guy then crawl into bed with me.”

You knew you’d struck a nerve when she started swearing. Chloe Beale never swore unless she stubbed her toe.

“Alright, I won’t.” You grab your car keys and your jacket as you walk past her and back out of the apartment door. You let it slam and wait to see if she’ll come after you. She doesn’t.

\---

You can’t hide out in Cynthia-Rose’s room forever. You left Chloe’s apartment on Monday and now it’s Thursday. It’s Thanksgiving and Chloe and Aubery are expecting all the Bella’s that are still on campus to go back for dinner. Cynthia’s already left, because she’d promised Chloe weeks ago that she’d help with the cooking. You’re sitting in her room, moping, with strict instructions to be at the apartment for 3 o’clock or Aubery might actually murder you.

You wonder when in the last three days your apartment became the apartment. You can’t imagine you’ll be very welcome back there. You should leave earlier anyway; Cynthia-Rose’s clothes hang off you like a tent and you really should go back and give the impression that you’re holding it all together. Which means a shower with your own shampoo and then wearing your own clothes. And hoping that Chloe hasn’t burnt all your possessions in the mean time.

The drive over doesn’t give you enough time to think, even though you stop at every stop sign and obey the speed limits. You hope you can sneak back into the apartment without anyone realising. You don’t want to speak to Chloe until both of you are at least a little bit drunk. And you don’t think you want to speak to Aubery ever again. She’s left you at least 3 messages a day and text you countless times. To say she’s pissed is an understatement.

You’re getting dressed, in Chloe’s room, when Aubery walks in.

“You’re early.”

“I’m in my underwear, can we discuss my punctuality once I’m fully clothed?”

“Don’t you snark at me, Mitchell. What the fuck do you think you’re doing?”

“Getting dressed, if you’ll let me.” The problem with you and Aubery, you decided then and there, was that you were both too stubborn and both too good at avoiding the point. You knew what she was talking about.

Chloe.

What were you doing to Chloe?

“You know what I mean. You leave and you don’t come back for like three days? Chloe’s been worried sick.”

“She knew where I was.”

“Yeah, like she knew where you were when you went and fucked Jesse.”

“Have you got a problem with that, Aubery? Because I wasn’t aware that what I did with my body was your fucking business.” You’re shouting at one another now, definitely loud enough for everyone to hear you. You half expect someone to run in and see whether they have to separate you. But they don’t, and it’s just you and Aubery, staring at one another.

“It’s my fucking business when you’re all over my friend for months then you go and fuck some fucking Treble boy.”

“Is this about Chloe or is this about the fact that Jesse is a Treble, Aubery, because I thought you would have got past that when you left.”

“This is about you, Beca, and the fact that you just don’t care about anyone for long enough to let them in. All except Chloe. And then you run out on her after a tiny argument.”

“Well, seeing as you don’t even like me, I don’t think that’s your problem Aubery.” You think she’s about to hit you when you say that. Instead, she sits down on the bed and gestures that you should finish getting dressed. You grab some clean jeans and a plaid shirt of Chloe’s that you’ve stolen. You feel Aubery’s eyes burning into you but you try to ignore it. You sit next to her when you’re done.

“Please don’t scare her like that again.” Her voice is soft now, softer than you think you’ve ever heard it before, “I’ve never seen her that scared and I never want to again, alright?”

“Alright. I’m sorry. I really am. For the running out thing. I’ll make it up to her.”

“Yes, you will. And if you ever pull this shit again, I will come back here and do worse things to your vocal chords than those wolves would have ever done. Understood?”

“Yes, I understand.”

“Now get out there, get a grip, and go help Chloe with the pie.”

\---

It’s amazing how scarce four girls can make themselves in a small two bedroom apartment. You know they’re sitting in the lounge, drinking wine and watching crappy Thanksgiving TV. While you’re in the kitchen, sitting and not talking to Chloe as she bustles around the kitchen.

“You don’t have to sit here and watch me, you know.”

“I think Aubery might kill me if I go out there. Plus, I like watching you cook.”

“I’m not an idiot, I know she sent you in here. So say what you have to say, and then we can get on with…whatever this is.” She gestures at you and then her, kind of miserably.

“I’m sorry, Chlo. I’m sorry for not telling you where I was on Monday, I’m sorry for walking out and not coming back. I’m sorry for this week in general. I want to come back and sleep here and watch shitty TV with you before we go to bed and yeah. Can I be your friend again?”

Chloe comes over and wraps her arms around your neck. She places a kiss on the top of your head and you realise it’s the first kiss she’s given you in a while. And you realise it’s the first time you’ve felt this relaxed since the fight with Jesse. It just feels right. You’re friends with Chloe again and you can continue whatever this weird, awkward dance is.

“You never stopped being my friend. You just started being a bit of an asshole, that’s all.”

“No need to be rude.”

“You don’t care.”

The truth was, you didn’t.

\---

Dinner, as you had expected, was crazy.

But crazy in a good way, because you were here, with the people you loved and there was nothing you could be more thankful about. You felt that your life was getting back on track. It helped that Chloe held your hand the whole way through dinner and for a long time afterwards.

You’re sitting on the couch in a food coma when Stacie pipes up that no one’s said what they’re thankful for. You think you know what she’s thankful for; she’s sitting on the other couch with Aubery’s head rested on her shoulder. They make a completely adorable couple, even if it’s possibly the fucking weirdest thing you’ve ever seen.

“Alright, alright, I’ll go first. First, I am thankful that your American holidays revolve around eating and drinking until I cannot move,” Amy sighs happily, “And I am thankful for having all of my friends here, and for acapella. And for my boyfriends. And for pie. Next.”

“I’m thankful to be back for a few days. Washington is fun, but I really miss you all when I’m there.” Aubery snuggles closer to Stacie.

“I’m just thankful to have Aubery back. And that we have Chloe to cook Thanksgiving dinner for us.” Stacie smiles.

“I’m thankful for all of you for coming over, or it would have been a pretty rubbish Thanksgiving. It’s been great.” Chloe’s sitting on the floor, leaning on your legs. She looks up at you, “I’m thankful for my room mate as well. Glad you came back.”

“I, for one, am thankful that Posen hasn’t burnt all my clothes while I’ve been gone. And also, you know, that you guys have stuck around. And that Chloe lets me live with her and is such a wonderful cook.”

“I am thankful that Beca has stopped moping in my room. And that everyone’s here and that everyone’s happy.”

Cynthia-Rose is the last to go and after that, you all sit there, chatting and dozing off the best Thanksgiving dinner you have ever eaten. Eventually, everyone makes their excuses and pile off into Stacie’s car to go back to campus. You see Aubery going with them and smile. You don’t know why she tries to be so secretive; it’s not like anyone would care.

“So, just you and me then?” You ask Chloe as you clear up the table.

“Seems so. Don’t drop the dishes.”

“Don’t whisper all sexy in my ear then Beale.”

“You think I’m sexy, Mitchell?” She’s behind you again, her hands on your waist.

“Objectively, yes, you are sexy.” You will your hands to stop shaking as you walk towards the sink. You need to put the dishes down or they are going to shatter all over the floor.

“Is that so?” How could she get so close and you don’t care? How could her breath curl around the shell of your ear and give you goosebumps rather than irritate you? How could her fingers feel so good as they stroke the tiny bit of bare skin between your (her) shirt and your jeans?

“Mhm, I mean, I have seen you naked, so I guess I have all the information needed to calculate whether or not you were sexy.”

“You are so damn cute when you babble.” She kisses you behind your ear, a kind of blink and you’d miss it moment, “Let’s go to bed, I’m exhausted.”

“Are you sure, I mean, I can sleep on the sofa, or in my bed…” or on the fire escape, you want to add. This conversation has probably made things really fucking awkward.

She takes your hand and pulls you through to her bedroom. She starts undoing the buttons on the shirt you’re wearing and it feels so intimate, so wonderfully sweet that you don’t even care. When you’re both undressed, you climb into bed with her and pull her into your arms.

“I’m so glad you’re back.”

 

 

 

 


	7. Got two tickets for the long way 'round

“Alright, alright, I’ll come spend Christmas with you and Sheila.” Your father has taken to calling you every day to just check whether you want to spend Christmas with him and the step monster. You don’t. But you’ve run out of excuses as to why you can’t. First, you were going to spend it with Amy, who wasn’t sure she was going home but then she managed to get a ticket at last minute. Then, Luke had asked you to do a shift at the station on Christmas Day but then decided actually, he wanted to avoid family Christmas too.

“Great. We’ll see you then.”

“Alright. I’m just walking up to my apartment now, so I’ll call you later, we’ll make plans.” He agrees and you hang up on him. You open the door to find the apartment strangely quiet. Chloe’s car was outside, in your normal parking space. You’d had to park up the street, giving your dad time to call you and harass you about Christmas. You feel like actually, this is all her fault.

You find Chloe in the kitchen.

“You look adorable in that scarf.”

“You parked in my space, my dad managed to actually call me for long enough to try and convince me that family Christmas was a good idea!” You try to seem angry, but there’s something about the way Chloe’s looking at you, her smile reaching her eyes, that makes you fail spectacularly.

“I have something to solve that.” She reaches over and grabs a cup from the kitchen counter. You give her a look that she often describes as ‘adorably perplexed’.

She starts tapping out the rhythm of ‘When I’m Gone’ on the table, slowly, but precisely. Her tongue is poked out the corner of her mouth in concentration and you fight the urge to giggle. Then she starts to sing.

“I’ve got two tickets for the long way ‘round, the one with the prettiest of views. It’s got mountains, it’s got rivers, it’s got sights to make you shiver, but it sure would be prettier with you.”

Her voice is making you shiver. When she’s finished, she looks up at you with a smile on her face.

“Happy early Christmas Beca.” Her voice is so gentle and sweet. She holds out an envelope.

“Do I get a song everytime you get me a present?” you ask as you open the envelope. Inside, there’s an airline ticket. Made out to you, Rebecca Mitchell. To Italy.

“I can’t accept this Chloe, it’s too much.”

“Sure you can. It’s a present. And I mean it. It won’t be the same without you.”

\---

_What do you mean you’re going to Italy, Beca?_

_Chloe surprised me, she’s paid for the ticket, we’re going to spend Christmas with her brother and parents._

_Is there something you want to tell me?_

_No, Dad, nothing. Want to come for dinner tonight?_

_Alright, we’ll see you later._

“My father and the stepmonster are coming for dinner tonight.” You’re sitting on the bed, watching Chloe pack for the trip. You fly out the next morning, for a week of relaxation and lots of food apparently. You’ve only met Chloe’s parents once but they were really sweet. And her brother is just like, the nicest guy ever. Friendliness is obviously a trait that runs in the Beale family. You can’t wait to go.  

“She’s not that bad.”

“Alright for you to say, she loves you because you are polite and tattoo free.”

“You could try to be more polite.” She rolls her eyes at you and gestures towards your still empty case, “Are you going to pack?”

“I was kind of hoping you were going to do it for me?” She zips her case up and puts it on the floor. Then she jumps on the bed and pushes you back until she’s on top of you.

Where is this going?

Your heart is thumping in your chest.

Her hair is brushing against your face.

Her eyes are glittering.

“I’m not doing your packing, Mitchell.”

“Please?”

“Nope.”

“You’re so pretty.”

“Complimenting me is not going to make me do your packing.”

“Your singing earlier was just wonderful.”

“Quit it, I’m not packing your bags.”

“Have I told you how pretty you are today?” She sighs and rolls off you.

“Beca. Pack. Your. Bags.”

You get up and start shoving things from your clean laundry bag into your suitcase. You can’t remember when all your clothes made their way into the room you and Chloe now definitely share. The room you’re meant to be living in is still sitting empty apart from the few boxes that you still haven’t unpacked.

“You’re cute when you’re all huffy.” You ignore her, shoving pretty much all the clothes you own into your case. You’re not even sure what you’re going to need for Italy at Christmas. You grab your sturdiest boots from under the bed, along with the neatly wrapped presents you had hidden there.

“That’s where you put the presents? I can’t believe I looked all over the apartment and they were under our bed.”

Our bed.

The bed has become our bed.

Admittedly, it is the bed you’ve shared for over three months. So it really is your bed. But it sounded strange coming from someone else. Not bad. Just…strange.

“Well, now they’re in my case and you can’t have them until Christmas.”

“Have I told you how pretty you look today?”

\---

“Your father thinks we’re dating, doesn’t he?”

To say dinner was awkward would be an understatement. Your father had asked for a tour of the apartment and had noted that the spare room was just that. He’d then asked about Jesse over dinner, saying that he seemed like a lovely young man. Sheila had then topped the whole thing off by asking what Chloe’s parents thought about you going away for Christmas with them.

She looked like she smelt something awful when Chloe just couldn’t stop gushing about you and how much her parents liked you. You don’t imagine that half of it is true but it was worth it to see the look on your stepmother’s face.

You didn’t like the look on Chloe’s face when Jesse had been mentioned. You had seen him a couple of times since that night before thanksgiving and things were alright but Chloe still felt weird about him. And he definitely felt weird about Chloe.

You’re in your room, getting ready to go to bed when Chloe asks the question.

“I think a lot of people think we’re dating, Chlo.”

“Does it bother you?” You turn to look at her. She looks as if she’s about to burst into tears.

“No…Chloe, come here.” She lets you envelope her in a hug, “You’re my best friend, alright? I couldn’t care less if people think we’re dating. I think if I could pick anyone to date out of the whole of Barden, it would be you. I mean, we’re practically married as it is.”

“I think I’d pick Luke.”

“I have just offered myself to you on a plate, Chloe Beale, and you pick Luke?”

“Yeah. Have you got a six pack?”

You want to protest that actually, your stomach is washboard flat now that you’ve stepped up your cardio and you’re eating actual food rather than ramen noodles and grilled peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. Chloe runs her finger across what you like to refer to as your baby abs. It feels incredible.

“No, no six pack. Shame really.” You huff and let go of her.

“Unnecessary moment ruining there Beale.” You crawl into your side of the bed and send out a group text, informing the Bellas and Jesse of your trip to Italy.

When you wake up at some unearthly hour the next morning, the only person who hasn’t replied is Jesse.

\---

You stare out of the window almost the entire drive between the airport and Chloe’s brother’s house. You don’t care that it’s almost dark; you want to take in as many of the sights as you can. You only move when your forehead begins to hurt from being pressed against the window. It leaves a mark.

“So, how are the Bellas going this semester, Beca?” Chloe’s father asks you.

“We’re going alright. I mean, I’m no Aubrey, so I don’t know if we’ll ever top last year’s final, but we’re not doing badly. Could do with Chlo back though.”

“She’s being modest, the Bellas are doing incredibly. Makes me a little sad that I’m not a part of it; looks like much more fun than when Aubrey was in charge.”

“How is Aubrey?”

“Aubrey’s Aubrey. She’s very jealous that she’s stuck at work and Beca and I are in Rome but hey, she wins some, she loses some. I think she’s back in Atlanta for a few days over Christmas though.”

A few moments later, you pull up in front of a very expensive looking townhouse. You see Ethan, Chloe’s brother, standing in the doorway.

“Hey, Beca, good to see you.” He sweeps you up in a hug as you get out of the car, “Little sis, how’re you doing?”

“Are you drunk Ethan?”

“No, just happy to see you. And maybe I opened a bottle of wine to celebrate your visit.”

“You know, darling, it’s good manners to keep that until the guests actually arrive.” Chloe’s mom kisses her son on the cheek and Chloe smiles at you. She looks so damn happy to be with her whole family again. The last time they’d been together was for her graduation. Ethan lived in Italy, with his wife and two children and very rarely came back to America. You knew it tore Chloe up inside; her family meant more than anything to her.

“Alright, if you’re complaining, we’ll go inside and celebrate.” You offer to grab your case, but Chloe’s dad and Ethan already have them. Chloe takes your hand and pulls you up towards the house. It’s bigger than your father’s and that’s saying something. It looks like the kind of place that should have servants.

“Gianna’s mom and dad are hella rich, this was their wedding present,” she whispers in your ear.

“It’s incredible.”

“Yeah, I like it here a lot.”

“Thank you so much for bringing me here. I still can’t really believe it.”

“So it was a good surprise?” Chloe has been very preoccupied with the fact that you hate surprises. You could see it worrying her as your father (very graciously, you might add) drove you to the airport this morning and as you boarded the plane. You pull her into your side, dropping your head to rest on her shoulder.

“The best surprise, Chloe.”

\---

“What time is it?” Chloe has just woken you up by poking you in the side incessantly. When you open your eyes, you find that she’s already showered and dressed. You feel grouchy, like you didn’t rest very well.

You try to put it down to jetlag.

You try to pretend that it’s not because you slept on your own, in an admittedly luxuriously comfortable, single bed. When you woke up in the middle of the night, you rolled over, expecting to find Chloe there but instead, she was in another bed, across the other side of the room.

You didn’t like it.

“Breakfast time. C’mon, we’re going sightseeing today.”

“You have no business being this chipper this early in the morning, Beale.” She comes and perches on the edge of your bed, her hands instantly reaching to swirl themselves in your hair.

“Of course I do! I’m in my favourite city in the world, with my favourite people in the world. Oh, and you obviously. Now get up before I drag you up.” You pull yourself out of bed and through to your en-suite bathroom. You could get used to this. The shower jet does you a world of good, the water raining down on your skin making you feel halfway human again.

When you wander back through to your room, Chloe has gone downstairs, so you dress as quickly as possible into something you hope is weather appropriate then follow her. You find her in the kitchen, helping Gianna, Ethan’s wife, make breakfast.

“Look at you, getting all domestic.”

“I’ve cooked for you for three months and you’re only beginning to realise this now?”

“You’ve cooked for her for three months?” Ethan remarks from behind the newspaper. You help yourself to coffee from the pot on the stove. It smells absolutely fantastic. You’ve realised most things here smell absolutely fantastic.

“Yeah, we live together and I have watched her burn ramen. Problem?”

“How comes I never knew you lived together? I thought you lived with the blonde who’s got a stick up her ass.” You and Gianna laugh, while Chloe pouts at her brother. She doesn’t like people insulting Aubrey.

“ _Aubrey_ moved to Washington, Beca moved in to help with the bills. Mum and dad probably mentioned it, not my fault you weren’t listening.”

You’re not the only one who’s good at lying about…well, most things. The way Chloe says ‘to help with the bills’ rolls off her tongue in a way that only a practised lie could.

“So, you and Chloe are at Barden together?” Gianna asks as you blow on the coffee and Chloe and her brother bicker.

“Yeah, but I’m only a sophomore. We met in the acapella group last year and she kind of stuck.”

“The Beales, they tend to…stick. What is ‘acapella’?” You wonder how Gianna knows Chloe but doesn’t know about acapella. Chloe lived and breathed acapella for her four undergraduate years at university. She’ll do it much more justice than you will.

“Chloe, give me your best explanation of acapella.”

“It’s a choir, kind of, only there’s no backing music. We do it all with our mouths.” You’re suddenly transported back to the activities fair, the first day you met Aubrey and Chloe, when you called acapella lame and Aubrey called you a bitch.

Oh, how things had changed.

Aubrey probably still thought you were kind of a bitch.

“Oh, ok. I understand. Sounds like fun.”

“It really is.”

Gianna opens the oven and pulls out a tray of fresh pastries.

“Chloe, can you get the girls and tell them breakfast is ready?”

This is the only part of the trip that you’re not entirely sure about. Chloe has 6 year old twin nieces. You do not deal with children. They run around, they cry a lot, they never want to go to sleep. Babysitting through high school to pay for mixing equipment had put you off having children forever.

Chloe, on the other hand, loves children. You’d watched her last night, drawing pictures with them while everyone else talked, talking about their school, about TV shows they liked, about what they hoped Father Christmas would bring them. Then, when it had got too late and they’d been falling asleep at the table, she’d just swept one up in her arms and carried her up to her room.

Chloe, as per usual, was perfect with kids.

Chloe comes back with a small hand in each of hers.

“Beca, take a seat, you’re making the place look untidy.” You roll your eyes and mock-stomp off to the table, where you sit down opposite Ethan.

“Anything interesting happened?” you ask. You are literally the worst at making conversation. But hey, at least you’re trying.

“Same old, doom and gloom. Nothing interesting. Should I be worried about the fact that you live with my little sister?”

There it is again. No one in this family has any boundaries what so ever.

“What do you mean?”

“Well, we all know Chloe plays for…well, Chloe doesn’t have a concept of teams. But you?”

“I…I date girls.” Why are you telling Ethan this? You don’t even think you’ve told Chloe that you date girls. Or you would date girls, if the right one came along, “But your sister is my best friend and I know how messed up things can get. I couldn’t lose her.”

“Good, because otherwise I’d have to do the big, scary brother thing and I think that would get your trip off to a bad start.”

“Understood.” He goes back to his newspaper and you stare into your cup of coffee.

It’s not awkward.

It’s just peaceful.

Like when you and Chloe have Sunday brunch. She’ll read a book and you’ll drag her out of her reverie for long enough to eat some waffles. Then she’ll go back to her book and you’re happy to sit there and watch her, your headphones on, searching for your new favourite song.

The only difference is that Sunday brunch happens in bed.

“You’ve managed to shut him up.” Chloe’s sitting down in the chair next to you.

“I have a way with the Beales, apparently. I can shut you up.”

“Only in bed.” Ethan lowers his newspaper. His eyebrow is cocked. You are suddenly terrified, “Jesus Christ, Ethan, get your mind out of the gutter.”

“Beca has just informed me that I have no need to make any big-scary-brother threats. Is that entirely true?”

“Beca couldn’t hurt me if she tried. You have nothing to worry about. But still, no threatening Beca. I like this one. Want her to stick around.”

“I’ve got my eye on you girls.”

Chloe rolls her eyes at her brother.

You don’t think you’ve ever seen her smile so wide, though.

 

 


	8. Christmas Shopping

Rome is so fucking beautiful.

You’ve been here two days and you think you’ve taken more pictures than you ever have in your life. You’ve done things you never thought you would; the amount of art galleries you’d visited up to this point had been a solid zero. Now, after a lot of pleading and the promise of a large glass of wine at dinner, that figure stood at one. You were almost proud of yourself. Chloe was very proud of you because you hadn’t complained the whole way around. You think you might have even enjoyed it a little bit.

Now you’re standing in front of a huge fountain and it’s getting dark. Chloe’s digging around in her purse for some change because of some odd superstition that she explained and then you promptly forgot. You’re just overwhelmed by the city, by being there, by her. You feel drunk and she hasn’t even delivered on her promise.

You feel fantastic.

“Come on Beca, you’ve got to throw it in over your left shoulder.”

“Alright, alright.” You grab something that you think is a small amount of money (the change here confuses you. They have coins when you get to one. It just makes things so heavy.) and stand next to Chloe, “What am I wishing for?”

“You don’t wish. You throw the coin in and then, superstition goes, your return to Rome is ensured.”

“Well, if it ensures my return, I can get on board.” You stand next to Chloe and toss the coin over your shoulder.

You make a wish too.

Because you’re pretty sure that this is the luckiest you’ve ever been and if you don’t wish now, you’ll regret it forever. You only realise your eyes were closed when you open them.

“What did you wish for?” Chloe is standing very close in front of you, the way she did that first hood night, your forehead’s almost touching.

“I didn’t wish for anything.”

“I saw your lips moving, don’t you lie to me Beca Mitchell.”

“Alright, I wished but if I tell you, it won’t come true, will it? Shall we get some dinner?”

She huffs but takes your hand anyway. You reach up and kiss her on the cheek (kisses on the cheek have ceased to be for just hellos and goodbyes, now they seem to be ‘just because’. It’s weird, but you like it.) which makes her smile the smile that’s reserved especially for you.

Your perfect day just got better.

\---

“Just tell me!” Chloe’s getting frustrated now. She bugged you all the way through dinner to tell her what you wished for at the fountain. Not in an annoying way, just in a Chloe way. She wants to know because she wants to understand you better. Which means that you don’t smack her like you would have smacked Jesse if he’d done the same thing. Now, the two of you are sitting in her brother’s living room with a film on in the background. You’re waiting for your mom to come on Skype and she’s snuggling into your side, getting annoyed at you.

Skype starts to ring. You pick up and are greeted by your mother’s smiling face.

“What’s this I hear about my daughter in Italy?”

“My early Christmas present from Chlo, it’s amazing mom! Like, I have never been anywhere more beautiful.”

“Nothing to do with the company?” Your mom raises her eyebrows suggestively until Chloe leans into the frame.

“Hey, Beca’s mom! We’ve spoken on the phone, I’m Chloe.”

“Chloe, hey! It’s so lovely to put a name to a face. Are you two having fun?” Your mother does have the good grace to look slightly embarrassed about what she said before, but not that embarrassed. On the other hand, you can feel yourself turning redder by the second.

Because of course it’s the company.

Italy would be beautiful without Chloe. Rome would still be Rome, with its little back streets and the gorgeous smell of food where ever you were.

But Rome _with_ Chloe? It was the most fun you’d ever had in your life. It was the happiest you remember being since you won finals. In fact, you’re pretty sure this is even better. You’ve done things you never even imagined you’d do, eaten things you can’t even pronounce. And sure, it would be great without Chloe. But it wouldn’t be the same.

“Beca, are you in there?” Chloe’s waving her hands in your face. You zoned out for a little too long apparently.

“Chloe was telling me about the art gallery you went to earlier, did you enjoy it?”

“It was alright, lots of paintings, you know?”

“Typical Beca. Don’t listen to her Chloe, she probably loved it.”

“Well, she didn’t complain about it the whole way round, so I’ll give myself points for that.”

“That is so good. We took her to this music exhibition in Seattle one summer and all she did was moan that she wasn’t interested and that she didn’t care. She’s never really outgrown the grumpy teenager phase.”

“I’ve realised. I’m just going to get a cup of coffee, you want one?”

“Yeah, go for it. Lots and lots of milk.”

“I know.” She kisses you on the cheek and then leaves the room. Your mother’s eyebrows rise so far you think they’re in danger of flying off her face.

“Beca, is there anything…” she trails off. She knows that you and Chloe aren’t exactly normal friends. She’d asked if you needed blankets because your father was apparently worried that you didn’t have any. Typical that _this_ was what your parents decided to start talking about after 6 or so years of almost total radio silence. But your mom hasn’t ever asked outright whether there was something going on. You guessed she was worried you would just clam up and get angry.

“It’s…complicated. She’s my friend but, like, a lot of people think we’re dating and we’re _not_ but I can see why they think we are?”

“What happened to Jesse?”

“Jesse has not spoken to me since I told him I was coming to Italy with Chloe. He thinks there’s something going on with Chlo and I, which annoys him, because he thinks that we’re perfect for each other or something. Also, I did something really stupid and fucked up his relationship with this girl before it even got started.”

“How stupid?”

“Turned up at his door, mad and stressed and confused, and slept with him.”

“So really stupid.” You can’t remember when your mom became your hardest critic as well as your biggest fan. You could tell her everything but she definitely wasn’t always nice about it, “You should talk to Chloe about it.”

She could also read your mind. She knew why you were stressed and confused. She knew you slept with Jesse because you couldn’t with Chloe. Your mother was an intuitive genius and that’s not exactly what you needed right now. What you need is for her to just let you not think about Chloe and what everything _meant._

Why did it have to mean anything?

You’re best friends.

Who have one bed in a two bedroom apartment.

Who kiss each other on the cheek on a pretty much hourly basis.

Who haven’t had successful dates with other people in 6 months.

But that doesn’t mean anything.

“There’s nothing to talk about though. Just…it’s complex.”

“Complex things don’t have to be ignored, Beca. Feelings are hard to comprehend sometimes but you shouldn’t ignore them.”

“I don’t have feel-.” The look on your mother’s face cuts you short. She’s right.

You do have feelings for Chloe.

The big, scary kind which you try to hide behind denial and a refusal to talk about the weird relationship with anyone.

“Talk to her. I’m not asking you to declare your undying love to her, but just…talk. Anyway, I’m going to have to go, I’m having lunch with your grandmother in a bit. But have an amazing Christmas and next time you’ve got time off, come visit, yeah? Bring Chloe, I’d love to meet her.”

“Alright, we’ll come up, maybe in spring break, alright? I love you mom. Have a good Christmas. Give my love to grandma.”

“I will. I love you too. Say good bye to Chloe for me.” She hangs up and you just sit there, staring at the screen as you let the feeling of admitting you have feelings wash over you.

You don’t like it.

You feel very, very vulnerable.

“Finished up with your mom then?” Chloe’s standing at the door with two cups of coffee. You hope she hasn’t been there long, “Making spring break plans already?”

So she heard that. You hold your arms out and she climbs in.

“Is everything ok Beca?”

“You know I love you right?”

“I love you too shortstack.”

It’s not perfect, but it’s a start.

Definitely a start.

\---

“Remind me why we’re last minute Christmas shopping?” Chloe is complaining. It’s Christmas Eve and you’ve dragged her to a shopping centre to buy presents for her family.

“Because your family have been nothing but kind and I have no presents for them. If you don’t want to come with me, I’ll leave you at a café with a large cappuccino.”

“It’s fine. If I leave you to do it on your own, you’ll only get stressed and not get anything.” You roll your eyes at her, but you know it’s true.

“So, what should we get for your family?”

“I told you, we can put both our names on the presents I got.”

“And I told you that I want to get them something myself.”

“Yes, you have made that abundantly clear. Right, let’s start at the book store. Dad and Ethan devour books. Then Gianna and Mom like cooking stuff. And the twins love anything Disney. Or pink and glittery. So that should be easy for you.”

“Shut up. Where’s the book store?”

Shopping with Chloe has never been fun. You’re not a fan of being dragged around a shopping centre by someone who is the equivalent of a five year old on a sugar high. But this is fun. Her hand is in yours and every time you stop at a cash register, her arms snake around your waist and she kisses you on the cheek. You laugh at the looks on the faces of the shop assistants. You laugh a lot, actually.

You love it.

You begin to love the fact that people think you’re a couple. You revel in the idea because it’s never going to happen in real life, right? So you can pretend, you can let her hold you, let her give you cheek kisses. It’s fantastic. You’re so happy.

It’s when you’re sitting down for coffee that she brings it up.

“Do we behave weirdly towards one another? Like, is the cheek kissing and hand holding thing weird?”

You don’t know what to say. Because of course it’s weird for you. You’ve never had such public displays of affection with your boyfriends, let alone your best friends. But Chloe, she’s different. You no longer know what’s weird.

“You think it is weird, huh?”

“Not weird, just…different. I’ve never acted like this with anyone.”

“No one? You’ve never held hands or cuddled?”

“Urm, not really. A lot of my relationships have been pretty…physical. And Jesse wanted to hold my hand and cuddle and whatever, but it never felt…like it does with you.”

Chloe winces when you mention the physicality of your previous relationships and Jesse and you wish you hadn’t mentioned it. You can’t believe you’ve forgotten how hurt she was after you slept with him.

“Sorry,” you reach for her hand over the table, “I shouldn’t have mentioned that. Any of that.”

“It’s just…sad, that you’ve never had this. You’ve never had someone who you want to…do this with.” She looks genuinely sad as well. It breaks your heart.

“Well, you know, I’m young. And I’ve got you, bestie. You make everything feel so…right.”

“And that’s not weird to you?”

“You’re my best friend, why would it be weird?”

“Because you’re you. You used to jump every time I tried to correct you in choreography. You stopped talking to me for two weeks because I accidently drunk kissed you. You just…don’t seem like the type.”

“You’ve changed me Miss Beale. Enjoy it while it lasts because I might change back to grumpy Beca overnight.” You grin at her and she begins to smile again. You’re glad. If there’s one thing you cannot stand, it’s seeing Chloe sad.

“I’m proud for inspiring such change in you, shortstack. Come on, we should get home with this stuff.” She goes for her purse and you stop her hand.

“I’ll pay. This is my treat.”

“No, Beca, I’ll get this. You didn’t need to get presents for everyone, but you did. The least I ca-.”

You press your lips to hers gently, just enough to shut her up.

Just enough to feel something set you alight.

When you lean back, she’s speechless. You take advantage and put some money on the table. Chloe’s still staring at you.

“Beca…”

“Yeah, Chlo?”

“What was that?”

“I…kissed you. Because you wouldn’t shut up. So…I kissed you.”

“You kissed me.”

“We’re even then. Shall we head home?”

She stands up and takes your proffered hand.

“Should I apologise?”

“Did you mean it?”

You nod. She smiles.

“Don’t apologise for it then.”

The two of you are wandering towards the exit of the store when something catches your eye. You pull Chloe into the book store again, claiming that you want to pick up a book you saw earlier. When she’s engrossed in some huge book about science, you sneak off to the shop opposite. She’s going to kill you but it’ll be worth it.

After about five minutes, you’ve managed to negotiate the purchase. You’ve never wanted to speak another language more than when you’re trying to buy Chloe’s present. The old man behind the counter laughs at you and you laugh back. Because later, you can tell this story to Chloe and she’ll find it just as funny.

When you get back to the bookstore, you find Chloe conversing with a security guard. When she sees you, she runs over and punches you.

“I was so worried, where did you go? I thought you’d been kidnapped or something.”

“I am 19, Chlo, I’m not going to get kidnapped.” She throws her arms around you.

“I was scared, Beca, it’s a foreign country, you don’t know the language, oh god. I thought something awful had happened to you.” You kiss her hair and pull her close.

“Chloe, it’s alright. I’m here now, I’m here.”

“Never do that to me again, never leave me like that.” 


	9. Snowball Fight

“Look at you all dressed up, what’s the occasion?” You’ve just woken up from a nap and Chloe’s standing in the ensuite, in her underwear, sorting out her hair.

“You need to get up and get in the shower; we’re going to church in like half an hour.” You drag yourself out of your warm bed and pad through to the bathroom. You’re not sure whether going to church is a good idea; God is definitely going to smite you for thinking about Chloe in her underwear and you’re not sure how to stop doing that, “Beca, you’re staring.”

“I was just thinking that this is very risqué for church, I mean, you might give the priest a heart attack or something.”

“Behave, Mitchell, I’m getting dressed.”

“Shame, I liked this better.” You run your hand down her bare back and rest it on her hip. She’s still looking in the mirror but now she’s looking at your reflection. Her cheeks are flushed. Did you go too far? Should you push your feelings onto her like this?

“Beca…what are you doing?”

You take your hand away and start getting undressed. You have no fucking clue what you’re doing. You just know that Chloe is standing there in her underwear and she looks good enough to eat. You know that you have these _feelings_ and you’ve let them spill out way too many times today already, what with the kiss and now this. And you know that you don’t want to tell her any of this.

“Sorry. I didn’t mean to upset you…” You jump in the shower, still in your underwear and practically rip it off. You hope she’s not there when you get out. After a couple of minutes, you hear the door close behind her. You turn the water up; it sounds like there’s a monsoon occurring in the tiny bathroom.

Then you scream.

You’re confused and frustrated and everything is just too much.

You remember what happened last time you felt like this.

You can’t do anything that stupid again, especially not here, not with Chloe.

The water is so hot that it’s turning your skin pink and it hurts. But it feels good. It’s almost calming. You want to wash your mind clean, forget what Chloe looked like, what her skin feels like under your fingertips.

Then suddenly the curtain is pulled back. Chloe wordlessly steps in and tips her head back under the shower spray. You’re speechless. You’ve seen Chloe naked before (in a roughly similar setting, you remind yourself) but that time, she was just so _Chloe._ This time, it’s like someone else has stepped into your shower. She pulls you, so your back is pressed against her front and water is running down your face. Then her fingers are in your hair, washing it and relaxing you.

“Chloe…” she shushes you. If she doesn’t want to talk, you’re pretty comfortable with that situation. You’re happy to feel her hands in your hair and her body against yours and just be. The questions and answers could come later, much later, as far as you’re concerned.

Her hands aren’t on your hair anymore, they’re on your hips and they’re pulling you to face her. She’s looking at you questioningly, as if she wants to ask if this is ok. You don’t know what to say.

So you kiss her. The kiss isn’t like the one you gave her earlier; this one is harsher, more passionate. The kind of kiss you’ve been wanting to give her for months, ever since she smiled at you after beating you at the dance mat competition. It’s a kiss which ignites a fire in your belly that you know is going to take a while to calm down. And she’s kissing you back. Her tongue is running across your bottom lip and you’re opening your mouth to let her in. Her hands are grabbing at your hips, trying to pull you even closer and you never realised that a kiss could feel like this.

Could feel like you’re falling apart and simultaneously being put back together again.

When you break apart to take a breath, she’s giving you the same questioning look. So maybe a kiss wasn’t the best way to stop that from happening. You’re not the queen of good ideas, it turns out, when faced with a very naked Chloe Beale in your shower.

The first time, you should have just run away.

What you ended up doing was staying and then auditioning for the Bella’s.

You’d done that imagining people naked thing to stop you being nervous. You ignored how hot you felt when you thought about Chloe naked.

This time, you just shouldn’t have kissed her. Because now she looks like she’s about to cry and you hate making Chloe cry. You wrap her in your arms and stand under the spray as the water mixes in with both of your tears.

\---

Church is not the best experience of your life. You have no idea what is going on most of the time and rely on Chloe to pull you up when it’s required of you.

Problem is, she’s not spoken to you since you got out of the shower.

On the way home, the two of you hang back, still not speaking.

“Auntie Chloe?” the twins have run back to meet you. You’re beginning to revise your opinion of children. Rosa and Elisabetta are the funniest, cutest, smartest people you’ve ever met that aren’t their aunt. You’ve begun to enjoy their make believe games and colouring pictures and reading them good night stories with Chloe.

You wonder if Chloe enjoys it as much as you.

“Yes sweetie?”

“Mama and papa are being boring, can we walk with you and Beca?”

“D’you want a piggyback?” you bend down to talk to Elisabetta, the quieter twin. You don’t have a favourite but she’s definitely more like you than Rosa. Rosa is going to grow up to be exactly like Chloe. The little girl nods and you let her climb onto your back. Chloe does the same for her sister.

“What do you think Santa’s got you then, Lissy?” Chloe asks.

“I asked for a keyboard so I can learn piano.”

“Well, I asked for a tutu for my ballet classes. Piano’s so boring.” You wonder if Chloe was quite as obnoxious when she was a little kid. You find Rosa funny though; she doesn’t mean to be rude, she’s just very good at speaking her mind.

“Beca plays piano, maybe she’ll give you some lessons before we go home.”

“Really? Will you Beca?”

“Of course I will, Lissy. Maybe we’ll play something for your sister to dance to?” You look up and Elisabetta is nodding. You look at Chloe and she’s got a proper smile on her face, one that reaches her eyes.

“What did you ask for for Christmas, Auntie Chloe?”

“Well, I asked for some books for school and a new bag. But I don’t really mind what I get now, I’m just happy to be here with Beca and you guys. I got all I wanted for Christmas when she said she’d come with me to Italy.”

You wonder if you’d fucked up her Christmas; you guess she hadn’t expected whatever this was that was happening between the two of you at this point.

“Are you our Auntie Beca now?” Elisabetta asks, “Because our uncle has a girlfriend but we don’t like her very much but we still have to call her Auntie. You’re much nicer than her.”

Now this was why you didn’t like kids; they asked the most awkward questions ever. Although it was totally adorable that they wanted you to be their aunt. You look at Chloe, willing her to answer for you. It’s silent for too long before she answers.

“Girls, Beca and I aren’t together like your uncle and auntie are.”

“Yeah, there’s no _way_ I’m good enough for your Auntie.” You need to joke, you need Chloe to laugh and stop talking like someone’s died. You’re amazed though, that the idea of you and Chloe being together wasn’t weird for these girls. They were six, for god’s sake, and they lived in the most Catholic place on earth.

You guess it proves that no child is born homophobic.

“No, she can’t afford me.”

“You can have all the money in my piggy bank if you want, Beca? It’s not much but it might help you buy Auntie Chloe.” Now Chloe is laughing and you are too, but you feel like you might cry.

“Baby, it’s an expression. Beca doesn’t need to buy me.” You’ve reached the porch of the house now and you bend down to let Lissy down from your shoulders.

“Go inside, I just want to chat to your auntie.”

When the two of you are alone, it’s silent again.

“Beca…”

“We don’t have to talk about it, if you don’t want to.” She’s visibly relieved, her shoulders slumping. You pull her into your arms.

You wonder what the hell is going on with the two of you at the moment.

And then it begins to snow.

\---

“Beca Mitchell, I am going to kill you.”

“It wasn’t me, it was her!” You’ve just finished the biggest Christmas dinner of your life but you’ve still been convinced into going outside into the snow, apparently to make a Christmas snowman.

But now, you’ve got Elisabetta next to you and she’s pelting Chloe with snowballs that her grandpa is making for her. Chloe’s hiding behind a tree with Rosa and Ethan, trying to get you back. You can’t remember the last time you were this cold and having this much fun at the same time.

“Don’t blame it on the six year old, I saw you throw that one!” While she’s shouting at you, Lissy throws another snowball which lands on top of Chloe’s head. You give her a high five while Chloe brushes snow out of her hair.

You don’t see the next one coming.

A snowball hits you square on the face and all you can hear is Chloe’s laughter.

It’s so fucking beautiful. She’s so beautiful.

“Girls and boys, I think it’s time for cocoa.” Chloe’s mom shouts from the back door. Lissy and Chloe’s dad rush off to the house, along with Rosa and Ethan. You’re still trying to brush the snow off your face when Chloe walks up to you.

“You’re in trouble, Beale.”

“Mmm, I am?”

God, you want to kiss her again but look how well that’s working for you today. To your surprise, she closes the small distance between your lips and kisses you, oh so gently.

Because that’s not confusing at all.

When she pulls back, her face is flushed but she’s smiling. That’s a start.

A very good start.

\---

You hadn’t realised but apparently it’s Italian Christmas tradition to open presents on Christmas Eve. So, once you’ve changed out of your wet clothes and into your pyjamas, you’re back down in the living room, with a cup of coffee to keep you awake, your bag of presents to exchange and Chloe by your side.

Perfect.

“Can we go first?” Rosa asks. The twins come up to you and Chloe, with a parcel.

“This is for you and Auntie Chloe,” Elisabetta says. You find their presents in your stack and exchange them for yours. Chloe gives Rosa her presents as well. The girls sit straight down and start ripping paper, throwing it every which way. You’re more careful, trying not to appear rude or impatient. Inside the paper is a picture frame, obviously decorated by the girls. The photo is one of you, Chloe, Elisabetta and Rosa eating ice cream that Ethan had taken the day after you arrived. You look exhausted but Chloe looks beautiful and the girls look really cute.

“Hey, are you going to give your Auntie Chloe a hug? It’s really lovely, we’ll put it in our room at home!”

The girls, done opening their presents (dressing up costumes from Chloe, Disney princess stories from you), crawl onto your laps, settling themselves into your chests. You wrap your arms around Rosa and say thank you. She says thank you back and asks if you’ll read her one of the stories later. You promise you will.

When you look at Chloe, she’s smiling. You hope you’re doing well at impressing her family; from the looks of things you are. The present exchange goes much quicker than you thought it would and you’re stunned by the thoughtfulness of the gifts from Chloe’s family (a new leather laptop case from Ethan and Gianna and books about music production from her mom and dad). The girls exclaim as Santa brings them everything they asked for and you promise to start teaching Lissy how to play piano the next day. As the piles of presents dwindle, people start to excuse themselves, until it’s just you and Chloe. It’s funny how this keeps happening.

You wonder if it’s a set up.

“Here, your presents, even though nothing could ever beat this.” You wave your hands in the air to signify Italy, being here with her, just her.

“I meant it when I said that I had everything I wanted when you said you’d come with me.”

“Still, don’t let these presents go to waste. I spent a long time finding these.” She takes the first one from the pile and pulls gently at the paper. Inside is a box. You lean over and open the top. Soft music begins to play.

“Pachabel…you remembered?”

“The thing with your grandpa and the playing this to get you to fall asleep?”

“That thing.”

You pull her closer to you and encourage her to open more presents. The whole sentimentality of the music box thing is making you feel uncomfortable but you knew she’d love it. Chloe Beale is a sucker for anything like that.

The next thing she opens is a Barden Bella’s sweatshirt. She pulls it on over her dress and sits there while you take a picture. She opens the book she’d ordered and then made you wrap up next (she hadn’t trusted you to get the right edition or something) and then some leather bound notebooks she’d been eyeing up in the bookstore back in Atlanta. Lastly, she picks up a USB drive. You hadn’t had the chance to wrap this; you’d only made it this afternoon while she read.

“It’s…your mixes. The ones I make about you.”

You have two sets of Chloe mixes. The songs that you mix together _for_ Chloe, for her workout and for her to write papers to and the songs you mix together _about_ Chloe, that you try not to think about and definitely don’t let her listen to.

You try not to think about why you’re letting her listen to them now.

She throws her arms around you, pulling you practically on to her lap.

The clock in the hall rings.

“Happy Christmas, Beca.”

“Happy Christmas, Chlo.”

 


	10. much ado about (mini) muffins

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> have been dying to post that title since i wrote the chapter, sorry not sorry.

“Italy, Mitchell? You’re expecting me to believe that your totally platonic best friend took you to _Italy_ and there’s still nothing going on?” You’ve finally plucked up the courage to talk to Jesse again and this is the thanks you get. And the totally platonic thing…you haven’t mentioned kissing Chloe to anyone, not even Chloe. Christmas Eve wasn’t a bad memory, just a confusing one.

“Nothing is going on, Jesse. I was calling because I wanted to see you. I miss you. I was hoping we could just have dinner and talk?”

“Alright, that sounds alright. I’ll come over about 8?” You agree and hang up the phone. You got back three days ago and your case still is in the process of being unpacked. At least that’s how you put it to Chloe earlier when she was nagging you about it. She went to the grocery store and told you that you better have it all unpacked and ready for laundry when she gets back. You text her quickly, telling her you’re going out for dinner with Jesse, then get involved with putting away clean clothes and throwing everything else in a pile by the door.

“This isn’t quite what I meant by unpack.” You look up to find Chloe standing in the doorway with a steaming cup of something, “I bought you one of those gingerbread spice coffees, thought you might need it after all your hard work, but seeing as you haven’t done any, I’ll have to drink it myself.”

She negotiates her way past the clothing mountain that’s formed at your door and sits down on the bed. She’s looking at you funny, like she can’t figure you out.

“Sooooo…a date with Jesse?”

“Not a date. Dinner. To talk.”

“Talk about?”

“I dunno, really. I want my friend back. He needs to get it through his thick skull that he can be my friend while you are also my friend.” Chloe looks like you just kicked her puppy for a second, before she smiles at you.

“He’ll get there. And if not, you still have me, right? And I’m more fabulous than Jesse anyway.” You roll your eyes at Chloe and begin to fold the small pile of clean clothes you have on the bed. Laundry, you have decided, can wait until Chloe gets so fed up, she does it herself.

You really hate doing laundry.

“Far more fabulous.”

“And a better kisser?”

Your body freezes, your heart does not. You can hear it in your ears. This is the part where she screams at you, tells you that you’re an awful person or something. Or she laughs, telling you that you’re nowhere near as good a kisser as that Tom guy she was kissing the night you met her in the showers.

“A more delicate kisser; Jesse…he likes to get his tongue over-involved.”

“Ew, Beca, that was too much information. Anyway, I am going to set up Harry Potter, I bought donuts and chips and if you don’t come out here and watch it with me in about 10 minutes, I shall start to cry.”

You ignore her, knowing you’ll be in your sitting room in five minutes anyway.

“And Beca?”

“Yes?”

“I’m not doing your laundry for you.”

\---

“Italy was beautiful and wonderful and amazing. How was your Christmas?”

“It was good, I had a lot of fun with my family, all my nephews and nieces and stuff. Got some cool new movies that will definitely form a part of your moviecation this semester. All in all, not a bad holiday. Not ready for classes to start again though.”

“Jesse, you’re never ready for classes to start, they could have given you your reading list last January and you wouldn’t be ready to start this semester.”

You’re in a diner just outside of town, watching cars speed past on the freeway and generally enjoying bugging Jesse. For some unknown reason, despite the fact you haven’t spoken since before you went to Italy, things feel fine again. You’re praying that they can at least stay fine until he drops you home again.

“That, Beca , is completely unfair! I have done…some of the reading for my classes next week.”

“Mmm, I bet you have.”

“Anyway, have you got any plans for New Years Eve?”

“Have you met my roommate? Red hair, blue eyes, loves a party? Of course I have. There’s a party at ours, come along, bring a friend as long as you bring some booze.” It had actually been Chloe’s idea to invite Jesse. Why, you have no idea, but you’re glad she wanted to. It made things less awkward.

“Can I bring a date?”

“I’m sure no one is going to be mighty offended if you bring a date. But only if you tell me _all_ about her.”

Your order gets to the table as Jesse starts gushing about some girl (Maddy, you think she’s called) that he met at Starbucks just before Christmas. She sounds sweet and you tell him you can’t wait to meet her. It’s not even a lie; anyone who is dating Jesse and is not you is pretty alright in your books.

“How about you? Meet a nice Italian man while you were away? Or were you a little distracted?”

“Shut up! I did not meet a nice Italian man, douche. We were just really busy, y’know? Loads of museums, walking, eating, looking after the kids. It was hectic but so, so great.”

“The kids?” Jesse asks through a mouth full of burger. He is so gross.

“Her nieces; Rosa and Elisabetta. Here,” You pull out your phone and show him a picture, “They’re really cute.”

“What happened to the Beca I used to know? I thought you hated kids?” You think about Lissy and Rosa and smile. Yeah, kids are annoying and they ask stupid questions all the time, but they’re not that bad really. As long as they’re the right kids.

“I dunno, I went abroad and discovered myself. Now…you’re being gross. Stop interrogating me while you eat.”

\---

When Jesse drops you off at your apartment a couple of hours later, he gives you a hug, watches as you let yourself in, then drives off. You sigh in relief; everything tonight has gone better than you expected it too. Maybe, if he continues to be acceptable, you can broach the subject of your massive crush on Chloe with him. It would be good to have someone to talk to who wasn’t your mom. You’re greeted with an empty living room when you open the apartment door, which is strange. Chloe _never_ went to bed without you, even if that meant falling asleep on the couch in front of the TV.

It was kind of cute.

You hear muffled voices from your room, so you figure maybe she’s on Skype with Aubrey or something. You debate leaving them to it, but you’re chilly, so you go in search of a jumper. You open the door, expecting Chloe to be sat cross legged on the bed, her hair in a messy bun, her computer in front of her.

That is definitely not what is occurring.

You shut the door carefully run back out to the kitchen. You did not just see some dude naked in your bed. Chloe’s bed. _The_ bed. You almost contemplate calling Jesse to come back, but that would mean you having to explain exactly why you feel like throwing up and crying at the same time about there being some guy fucking your best friend. You could just drive off but you’ve run away after something like this before (admittedly, that time, it was all your fault. Then again, what’s not to say this isn’t as well?) and scared the crap out of Chloe. So, instead, you sit down on the couch, put on your headphones to shut out what you know now are muffled sex noises and close your eyes.

That’s where Chloe finds you the next morning.

“Beca…what are you doing out here?”

“Well…I tried to come to bed last night but it was…umm…otherwise occupied.” Chloe blushes.

“Oh, god, you saw that? Oh, Beca, I’m so sorry.”

“It’s cool, you know, I’m not scarred for life or anything. Just, a sock on the handle or something next time?” Chloe nods and comes to sit down next to you.

“So how was Jesse?”

“Jesse is fine, we’re fine. He met a girl, in Starbucks of all places, he’s bringing her tomorrow night.”

“You think he’s over you?”

“I think he’s on the way to being over me. He only mentioned you once the whole night; it was glorious.” Chloe pouts, at the thought that she wouldn’t be mentioned or that you would find it glorious that she wasn’t. You snuggle up to her side.

“I talked about you all the time, if that makes it any better?”

“Much better.” She’s still pouting and you wish you could make her stop but then you think for a second where those lips were last time you saw them and you feel sick. You want to ask about it, but you don’t think you have the words to do it.

“Are you bringing anyone tomorrow night?”

“Why, are you?”

“I was thinking about inviting Jake, that’s his name, over. He’s kind of cute and funny.”

“Yeah, well, he’s got a nice ass.”

Chloe looks mortified. You never had her down for someone who would be that embarrassed if another person walked in on her having sex but hey, you learn something new everyday.

“I can’t believe…I really am sorry Beca.”

“Chlo, it’s alright. Once I’ve erased the image of Jake’s ass from my brain, I’ll be able to look him in the eye tomorrow night.”

You think you could have fun with this making Chloe blush thing.

\---

“Remind me why I volunteered to go shopping with you?” It’s New Years Eve. Aubrey has come down for the weekend from Washington and the two of you are in Walmart, buying supplies for tonight’s party. Chloe’s back at the apartment, cleaning and decorating. You think that you would have been better off deciding to do that.

“Because I am fabulous and you just miss me so very much when you’re tucked away in your office in Washington. How’s work going by the way?” You know you’re irritating her because you’re not paying any attention to her and Chloe’s carefully constructed list. You find it easier to just grab three of everything you think looks tasty from the shelf and live on party food for the next three weeks if it comes to it.

“Washington is great, work is fantastic although I sure do miss bossing you around on a daily basis.”

“Oh I’m sure you do, but I’m always at the end of the phone, whenever you need to vent your frustration.”

“How was Italy?” She smiles at you in a way that says that maybe she knows more than you would have told her about your trip. She is Chloe’s best friend and Chloe does have this habit of over sharing.

“Italy was amazing, thank you very much. Christmas was fantastic, getting to spend time with Chloe was lovely. I think it was just what we needed.”

Aubrey raises one perfect eyebrow at you.

“Ok, Posen, what has she told you?”

“There’s something to tell?”

Did you walk right into that or did you walk right into that?

“No…”

“Mitchelllllll…”

“Alright, alright. We kissed. More than once. But it’s no big deal.” You busy yourself picking out which flavour mini-muffins you think Chloe would prefer. You’re not even sure why a New Years Eve party needs mini-muffins; you thought all you needed was alcohol and the number for the pizza place around the corner. Mini-muffins were not necessary. You pick up three packages of the white chocolate-raspberry kind, which you know is Chloe’s favourite.

You can’t believe the first person you told was _Aubrey._

“I knew it! I knew you two had massive toners for one another.”

“Well, you don’t have to worry because…there’s a guy. He’s coming tonight, you’ll get to meet him.”

“A guy? Your guy?”

“God, no. Chloe’s guy.”

“Beca…were you ever into guys?”

You really don’t want to have this kind of heart-to-heart with Aubrey in the baked goods aisle of Walmart, but she doesn’t look like she’s going to budge until you do, so you take another look at the cake. Maybe the party needs more mini-muffins?

“Maybe…I mean, I thought I was into Jesse. But…now, I’m not so sure.”

“Are you into Chloe?” Or maybe the party needs waffles. You walk away from Aubrey, trying to gather up your head because this was not the time or the place or the person to admit your feelings to.

“You know I’m into Chloe, you’ve known since Thanksgiving, maybe before. Why are you asking when you’ve probably known for longer than I have?”

Aubrey puts her arm around your shoulders and gives you an awkward side hug. It’s the nicest gesture she’s shown you in a long time and suddenly, tears begin to roll down your face. This is so stupid, even more stupid than the mini-muffin situation.

“It’s alright Beca. It’s going to be alright.”

                                                                                                                

 


	11. Disney Princess Bandaids.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OH GOD.   
> I know I haven't updated this in so long, but I'm a college student and that kind of took over for a bit and then I had to rework this chapter a lot, but here it is!   
> I hope you haven't given up on me totally and I will try to keep to a more regular posting schedule from now on.

You are wearing a dress and you’re not entirely sure why.

It’s only a casual thing at home, she’d said.

Wear whatever you like, she’d said.

Here, put this dress on, she’d said.

Now you’re greeting people at the door and taking their coats, food and booze and trying to remember to smile. It was hard when Chloe was standing on your tiny balcony with the biggest jerk in the universe and Aubrey kept giving you sympathetic glances from across the room. It would have been easier, you think, if you weren’t the only person without a date. You’re getting to the stage where you might call the guy who delivers pizza and ask him to accompany you for the rest of the evening.

The next knock on the door is Jesse with Maddy.

“You’re wearing a dress.”

“You’re not.”

“Smile, Beca, it’s a party.” You try your best not to smile but eventually he defeats you and you allow yourself a little one. Only small though, you’re still pissed about the dress and the jerk and Aubrey’s constant hovering. Even if she is currently on the other side of the room, snuggled up with Stacie, “Beca Mitchell, meet Maddy Jacobs.”

“Hey, Beca, I’ve heard a lot about you!”

“Really?”

“Yeah, Jesse played me some of your mixes, you’re really good!”

“Oh…well…thanks! D’you want a drink, or something?” You guide them over to the alcohol table, which looks like it might break under the weight of all the bottles people had bought. Amy had shown up with two boyfriends, each carrying a crate of beer while she had three bottles of vodka. Tomorrow is not going to look pretty for anyone. You look outside, where Chloe is still hanging onto every word that pretentious douche bag says. You suddenly need a drink yourself.

“Hey Beca, Maddy’s mom works at the radio station downtown.” Jesse grabs some beers from the sink, opens them and hands one to you. You don’t think you’ve ever been more thankful for alcohol in your entire life.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah, well, she’s in charge of programming. One of the DJs left before Christmas; she’s heard some of your stuff, she’d like to meet you.” Maddy’s smiling at you again and you just can’t get over how happy she is around you. The last girl Jesse dated looked like she was going to punch you in the face every time you saw her on campus. That was a little your fault though. You try not to choke on your beer. Someone who is in charge of a legit radio station has heard and likes your mixes? Things like this just don’t happen to you.

“For serious? That’s…that’s so cool! You’re the best, Jesse!”

“Hey, I had nothing to do with this! All I did was tell Maddy how awesome you were, she told her mom and here we are today.”

“I’m just going to tell Chloe, one moment.” You push your way through crowds of people and out onto the balcony, where Jake is on the phone to someone. All alone. Chloe must have gone back inside.

“Look, babe, I’m stuck at this party with this crazy chick I met at the bar the other night. I’ll try to get away as soon as I can.” You were right. Jake is a massive douche. You can hear a female voice on the end of the phone and you fight every urge not to rip it from his hand and inform his ‘babe’ that he had sex with that chick. In your bed. The nerve!

“Of course I want to see you! Just…give me another hour. She’s pretty wasted, I’m just going to say goodbye and then I’ll get a cab to yours.”

You really hope this other woman is as mad as you are right now. You’re wondering how easy it would be to push a six foot guy over your balcony. Given that you’re five two, you think the answer is probably pretty difficult. Where the hell is Chloe? Why isn’t she hearing this?

“Ok babe, I love you too. I’ll see you in a little bit.”

He hangs up and turns to go inside. Only you’re still standing in the doorway.

“Beca, right?”

“Yep, that’s me.”

“Unfortunately, my sister’s not feeling too good, so I’m going to have to duck out early.”

“Yeah…you always call your sister babe? Or hide from ‘that chick’ when you’re calling her? Where is Chlo anyway?”

“We were about to take things to her bedroom, when my _sister_ called.”

“Jake, you and I both know that that wasn’t your sister. We also both know that you are not going anywhere _near_ Chloe’s bedroom after this.”

“Do we really?” He takes a step towards you and that extra ten inches suddenly becomes a lot more threatening. Where’s Jesse when you need him? Even Aubrey would be useful in a situation like this, “And why do you say that?”

“If Chloe’s drunk, she doesn’t know what she’s doing.”

“And you’re here to protect her from that sort of thing, are you?” You take a quick look behind you, trying to catch someone’s eye but they’re all talking and drinking and dancing and not paying attention to you facing up with a creepy guy on your balcony.

“Pretty much, that’s what I do.”

He has this smug smile on his face and you have never wanted to punch a guy more in your life. But, as you have already surmised, he is much taller than you, probably really strong and would definitely hit a girl if that girl was you.

“Just go back inside, back to your _boyfriend_ and leave me and Chloe the fuck alone.”

You hear the screen door open and suddenly his lips are on yours, his beard rough against your face. You push him away but he really is built, and his body doesn’t move an inch. He smells like he’s actually bathed in whiskey and you wonder how Chloe’s faced standing anywhere near him tonight.

“Jake? Beca?” Jake pulls away from you and you take a few steps back, walking and pretty much falling into Chloe. Her arms don’t wrap around your waist immediately and you panic. Does she think that you kissed Jake? She can’t be that dense that she thinks you would kiss this guy she’s dating, right?

“Chlo, babe, I was just coming inside when she kissed me.”

Finally, Chloe’s arms pull you closer to her. She asks you quietly if you’re alright, and you nod. Then she turns to Jake and she looks absolutely furious.

“Just get out of here.”

Jake still has that smug grin on his face and you want to laugh because angry Chloe is nothing to smile at. Angry Chloe is five feet six of pure fire; that thing about red hair and having a temper is pretty much true as far as you’re concerned. And now that temper, thank god, is about to be unleashed on this total asshole.

“Chloe…”

“Jake, I swear to god, get out of here before I get someone to throw you out.” He cowers slightly and moves towards the door. You think he’s going and you relax a little but suddenly, there’s pain emanating from your cheek and Chloe is screaming at the guy. You were right; he’s not the kind of guy who has any problems with hitting a girl.

“You’re a stupid bitch, you know that? Chloe’s never even going to look at you but you’re still her knight in shining armour. How does it feel, knowing I’ve fucked her when she’ll never let you touch her?” The noise from the balcony has drawn the attention of people inside, including Jesse, thank god. Where was _your_ knight in shining armour when you needed him?

“Alright, you sir, have had too much to drink. How about you leave and maybe, I won’t call the cops?” Happy go lucky Jesse, Jesse who is willing to see the good in everyone is currently staring this guy down from across your tiny balcony. You know your best friend doesn’t really stand a chance in a fist fight, but maybe, hopefully, Jake will listen to him.

“You know, your girlfriend is totally hot for Chloe, right?”

“Dude, Beca’s not my girlfriend. And kudos to her if she is, Chloe’s a good looking woman.”

Chloe is still holding you tight but suddenly you feel the need to run out of there. If Jake, Jake who has known you for all of about three hours, knows that you’re ‘hot for Chloe’ then what does Chloe know about how you feel? What does everyone else think they know about you and Chloe? You can’t let her know yet, you’re totally not ready for the conversation and subsequent rejection. Chloe is not the type of girl to hide her feelings; if she liked you, she would have told you months ago. Since she hasn’t, she clearly doesn’t like you like that, even if she likes you enough to hop in your shower and kiss you. You still haven’t spoken about that. You wonder if you should, you know, when you get rid of the crazy psycho from your balcony.

“Haven’t you got to get to your sister’s place? Wouldn’t want to keep her waiting.”You step out of Chloe’s arms, towards Jake, who’s not looking so sure of himself now. Chloe doesn’t seem entirely too bothered by the claims that you’re attracted to her, Jesse isn’t even your boyfriend…his trump card has failed and despite the pain in your face, you’re smiling, “Oh, sorry, did you not want Chloe to hear about that? About your sister and how you’re stuck with some ‘crazy chick’ but you’ll be there soon? Only that wasn’t your sister, was it Jake?”

“I’m going, alright. Get out of my way, you little slut.” He pushes you to the ground and stalks back into the apartment. You hear a loud thwack sound and try to get up, because what if he’s hit Chloe now? But he’s the one cradling his cheek, in front of a very smug looking Aubrey.

 “If you ever touch Beca or Chloe again, I will have your balls. You disgust me.” Aubery’s voice is low and dangerous; the kind of tone she normally aims at you. But this time, it manages to keep Jake quiet until he’s out of the apartment. It had gone silent when Aubrey hit him but slowly, you hear the music start again and people start to nervously talk amongst themselves a little more. Chloe rushes over and pulls you up. Your cheek still smarts and you’ve got grazes on your palms and knees, but nothing’s broken. She gently touches what feels to be a rapidly forming bruise under your eye but pulls back when you wince.

“Beca…”

“I’m alright, Chloe, nothing a band aid and a couple of beers won’t fix.”

“Did you hit your head?” Her fingers are at it again, ghosting over your forehead and your scalp, checking for any cuts and bumps. You know it shouldn’t make you feel all tingly inside but it does. Her hands sweep down the back of your neck, coming to rest on your shoulders. You wonder if your shivering can be put down to how cold it is outside and how little clothing you’re wearing, “God, you must be cold, come on, come inside.”

She drags you through crowds of people, all of them asking if everything’s alright, until you’re in your bedroom and she’s closed the door behind you. She starts rummaging around in the drawer where she keeps her first aid supplies while you look in the mirror at the shiner Jake gave you.

“Are you alright, Chlo?”

“Just…worried, about you. Aha!” She spins around holding some swabs and a bottle of what looks like antiseptic. She doesn’t look alright though.

“Chlo…you can tell me.”

“This is all my fault! I should never have gone to that bar, I should never have bought him back here, I should never have invited him. But I did, and now look at you! You’re all busted up.”

“Chloe Beale, none of this is your fault. If I had to do it again, I would, alright?” You take the medical supplies out of her hands and place them on the desk, “I care about you…a lot, and I would hate myself if anything happened to you. So better a few cuts and bruises on me than on you, alright?”

You find your hands entwining with hers and a smile begins to light up her face again. You wish you had more damn confidence, more control over your emotions because this might have been the perfect moment to tell her that you _really_ care about her, in a more than friends way. Then again, it would have been an awful time to be rejected. Like, the worst.

“He was an ass, wasn’t he?”

“The biggest. Now, can you please clean my wounds and put some Disney Princess bandaids on them, so we can get back to the party?”

“You want my special Disney Princess bandaids?” You’re not quite sure why you’re falling in love with a 22 year old woman who still has ‘special’ Disney Princess bandaids for when a cut requires something more special than the regular kind, but you are. Chloe Beale is a dork but you kind of hope she wants to be your dork, “I suppose my knight in shining armour has earned them. Sit.”

“I’m not a dog, Chloe.” Regardless, you sit on the edge of the bed and let her clean your knees and palms. When she’s done putting bandaids on, she kisses you on the cheek and holds out a hand.

“Would you like a lollypop for being such a big, brave girl?” You can tell she’s trying not to giggle and you just roll your eyes. Total dork.

“Not sure on the lollypop, but I would kill for a beer.”

\---

Chloe, as you expected, is thrilled by the prospect of you getting an interview at the radio station. She spends all night telling people, while dragging you around to show you off. You just relish being by her side and holding her hand and all that other sappy crap they talk about in movies. You would have laughed this time last year if someone had told you you’d get all gooey over the idea of holding Chloe’s hand (since she did it all the time then and it just made you feel a little uncomfortable).

“I think you have now told everyone at this party, including the guy who delivered the pizza.” You’re sitting on the balcony again, this time with Chloe’s head in your lap. She’s definitely had too much to drink and you pulled her out for some fresh air and to get her away from anyone else she might tell her story to. It’s now evolved from simply being about how fantastic you are and how proud she is of you to being an epic tale of your bravery earlier. You’re beginning to feel a little embarrassed, especially since you didn’t even get to hit the guy. Your mom would be proud though; it’s been so long since you hit someone, you wouldn’t want to fuck that up, really.

“People should know how great you are, Beca.”

“I was just looking out for you, Chlo.”

“Because you’re great.”

“Because I don’t know what I would do without you. I wanna look after you.”

“Beca, I am a 22 year old lady, I don’t need looking after.”

“Chloe, you keep special bandaids for particularly painful booboos, when you’re sick, you go to school until you almost collapse and _I_ get called to come get you and you would forget your own head if it wasn’t screwed on. Face it, you need looking after and sadly, since your taste in men and women is poor at best, I am lumbered with that job.”

“You love me.”

“Yes, yes I do. Now, I’m hungry, you think you can manage to stay away from the booze for the rest of the night?”

“I’m not making any promises.”

\---

“This will be the first New Years since I started college where I don’t have someone to kiss at midnight,” Chloe announces as she pours you a glass of cheap champagne. She’s scanning the room for any prospective kissing partners, but comes up blank. Pretty much everyone here bought a date, even if it was just for the night.

“I’ve never had a kiss on New Year’s Eve.” You don’t add that you think it’s stupid and kind of desperate to seek someone out at midnight as the year changes for whatever reason. It’s just like every other day of the year to you. But to Chloe, hopeless romantic of the year, it’s a different story and you understand a little bit why it’s bugging her.

“You expect me to believe that no one has ever wanted to kiss you on New Year’s Eve?”

“That’s not what I said! People have wanted to kiss me, I just said no.” Last year, you’d hidden in the corner as the ball dropped on the TV, watching as everyone else cheered the New Year in. You couldn’t take your eyes off of Chloe, who had some dude’s tongue down her throat and his hands on her chest. Then, you’d justified the kind of sick feeling in the bottom of your stomach as anger that someone could take advantage of your drunk friend. Now, you’re kind of feeling like it might have had something to do with the fact that you wanted to be the one kissing her.

“I am not that hideous, Beale.”

“Never said you were, Mitchell.”

The countdown sounds like it’s coming from underwater as Chloe steps closer to you. You take a sip of your champagne because your mouth is suddenly inexplicably dry. She looks gorgeous, how had you not noticed this earlier? Well, you had, but suddenly, her eyes are on fire and she looks way more beautiful than you think you’ve ever seen her before, even when you’ve seen her naked.

And naked Chloe Beale is a god like experience.

“6…”

“I think…”

“5…”

“That it’s _really_ sad…”

“4…”

“That no one…

“3…”

“Has ever…”

“2…”

“Kissed you…”

“1…”

“At midnight.”

“Happy New Year!”

You think you hear your glass smash as Chloe grabs your face and pulls it towards hers. This is your favourite kiss (so you’re ranking them. It’s not like you’re going to get an infinite number) so far; so soft and gentle, so full of hope. You let yourself melt into her arms as she pulls you close and you wonder if she can feel your heart as it tries to escape from your chest. All you can feel is her, her hands in your hair, her curves pressing against you, her lips, oh god, her lips moving against yours. And then, she pulls back, her hands still tangled in your hair, her eyes still on fire.

“Happy New Year, Chlo.”

“Happy New Year, Beca.”

 


	12. operation woo Chloe

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh god, I am so sorry this took so long! I moved countries, then went back to school, then my memory stick broke, taking a whole bunch of fan fiction with it plus I got a new phone, and wiped the old one without backing it up because I am dumb, so all in all, I apologise from the bottom of my heart and here is the penultimate chapter!

You sigh as you ball up yet another printout from the shelter. Chloe seems to think the two of you are going to adopt a kitten. She is sadly mistaken. Seeing as pleading with you and withholding cuddling privileges didn't work, she has now taken to leaving printed bios and pictures from the pound all over the apartment.

"Chloe, we're not getting a kitten."

"See, Beca, that's what you think. I think eventually, you'll break."

"Oh really?"

She walks into the sitting room nodding. You're beginning to think she gets more and more beautiful everyday. Just as she's about to outline the next step in her master plan (probably), your phone rings. It's your mom, probably asking for an update on _your_ as yet not at all enacted master plan to woo Chloe. You pick up.

"Hey mom!"

"Hey darling girl, how are things?"

"Pretty good, other than Chloe is insisting that we are going to get a kitten."

"You've told her you're afraid of cats, right?"

"I am not! We're not getting a kitten, is all. I'd rather a puppy."

"That's a big commitment...how are things going?"

"They're not...after all the Jake stuff," Chloe stiffens and you reach to take her hand, "Not the right time, mom."

"It's never the right time, baby, you've just got to jump in. Get a puppy, maybe it'll be good for you two. And come and see me in spring break!" You say goodbye and hang up. Maybe she's right; one commitment might lead to another, if Chloe's willing to make it.

"Are you allergic?" Chloe comes and sits down next to you, "to cats, I mean."

"Chloe Alexandra Beale, we are not getting a kitten."

\---

You should have seen it coming.

The next morning, Chloe pulls you out of bed and pushes you in the shower. You don't ask why you're up at 8 am on a Saturday (who knew there were two 8 o'clocks on the weekend? Not you.) Until you're in the car.

"We are going to the pound."

"Is this the next step of your master plan?"

"You are quite obviously a dog person. I am neither a cat nor a dog person; I love them equally. I just want a furry creature in the apartment for when you work late. Thus, we're going to look for a dog."

You smile the rest of the way to the pound. You like dogs, they're substantial and loyal and you would actually feel a lot safer working late if you knew Chloe had a dog there. Cats, by comparison, are useless in your opinion.

"You know, I firmly believe that you can't be both." Chloe looks at you questioningly as you push open the door to the pound, "being a cat or dog person says a lot about your personality and you can't be both. You're going to have to pick one."

"You can definitely be both; I just like animals." She does, the apartment would be a veritable menagerie if she had her way. As it is, you have a tank of goldfish in the sitting room (reason #5 why the cat was impractical) and a hamster, who for some reason is called Paco, living in a cage in the spare room (reason #6). Paco's cute but he only really likes Chloe and tends to pee all over you when you try to clean his cage.

"Nope, one or the other."

"What do they mean then?" She pulls you toward one enclosure where something that looks like a walking dustbunny is strolling around. You shake your head.

"Cat people are kinda...uptight, a but self centred. Like a cat. Aubrey is a classic cat person." The next dog is a possible, but he's kind of big for your small apartment. You accept that you cannot have a great dane, "Dog people are friendly and loyal. I think you're a dog person."

"I always liked cats when I was younger. But...I like dogs just as much. You can be both."

You snipe at her to make a decision the whole way around. You think that you're out of luck on the dog hunt until the very end.

"Her name is Lily," one of the staff tells you, "She's the sweetest dog we've ever had, the previous owner got too sick to take care of her though. Real sad."

Lily jumps up and puts her paws on top of the fence that hold her in. Chloe tickles her under the chin and she barks excitedly. Chloe giggles and turns to look at you. If you hadn't already fallen in love with the dog, that would have been enough to make you sign the papers. You make arrangements to pick Lily up after class during the week while Chloe plays fetch with her outside.

"Your girlfriend's cute." The guy who is filling out your paperwork is 100% too chatty for your liking.

"She's...not...not my girlfriend. Just my friend."

"Sorry, didn't mean to offend." You're not offended, because why would you be offended that Liam thought that someone like you would have a chance with someone like Chloe? You're just reminded that you're meant to be *doing* something about it and so far, you've gotten nowhere.

Chloe comes back in, Lily trotting dutifully beside her, and slides her arms around your waist.

"All sorted?"

"Mmm, pretty much. Gotta come get her later in the week, once I have my car all sorted and we tidy the apartment."

"Ok, can't wait! See you later Liam!" She crouches and pulls you down with her, "we're coming back for you, Lily, just gotta get your new home all nice and cozy."

"Yeah, make sure Chloe's hamster is in a non-eatable place." Lily licks both of your faces, which is an odd combination of cute and gross. You guess you could get used to it.

  ---

"We're getting a puppy...well, a dog." Chloe is on Skype to Aubrey while you lie in bed next to her finishing off the paper that you've been neglecting all week.

"No, nothing's going on...she was chatting to this cute guy at the pound today though." Chloe's smiling but it's not like her dazzling 'hey Beca' smile, it's more like Aubrey's 'I must not kill Beca Mitchell' smile, "Don't be silly, there's no way...they were just...flukes."

You wish Chloe didn't have headphones in so that you could hear Aubrey's side of the conversation. Since New Year's Eve, Aubrey had been your second biggest cheerleader (after your mom) in the wooing Chloe thing, and she was getting increasingly frustrated that you were not getting anywhere. In fact, you think she is just getting frustrated that you couldn’t seem to find anywhere to start, but that wasn’t your fault. The lines between you and Chloe were so blurred to begin with, you might as well be dating. Celibate dating, which was exactly the most fun the two of you could have without taking your clothes off, but you’ve seen Chloe naked and you wish she’d take her clothes off a bit more, to be honest.

“She wants to talk to you.” Chloe slides her laptop onto your knees and takes yours. You slide her headphones on to be greeted by a barrage of insults.

“Beca Mitchell, I don’t think I have ever met someone quite as useless as you are being right now. It is like you are being deliberately blind to every signal Chloe is throwing at your feet. She is throwing you a bone which seems to be hitting you on the head repeatedly because you obviously have some kind of brain injury.”

“Dude, what signals?”

“She took you to get a dog because she realised you are terrified of felines,”

“I am not--“

“She looked like someone had punched her dog when she talked about you flirting with the man at the pound,”

“I wasn’t flir--“

“And she seems to think your kisses were flukes, which is sad for her, because she also thinks those kisses were the best kisses she ever had.”

“They weren’t---wait, what?”

“Best. Kisses. Ever. Now,  please, for the love of God, go get the girl. Or at least try, I know you like to take things glacially slowly. Night Beca, give my love to Chlo.”

With that, Aubrey signs off and you’re left to wonder how you’ve been missing all these supposed signs.

“This is a really good paper.”

“Mmm?”

“Yeah, it really is. What did Aubrey want?”

“I asked her for some advice on New Year’s Eve, she’s getting enraged that it’s taking me so long to do something about it.”

“Was it girl advice? Have you met someone? Is she really cute?”

Was this an opening? You’re not very good at this whole wooing thing. In fact, you have never wooed and the closest thing to wooing you’ve ever seen is Jesse pursuing you last year. And you really don’t want to ask him for tips, even though it is painfully obvious how large your crush on Chloe has become in the last month or so.

“I met someone a while back, and yes, she’s really cute, but I gotta do this right, you know? I think she could be something really special so I don’t want to go too fast and scare her. She might not be in to me, or something.”

“If she’s not into you, Beca, she’s an idiot.”

\---

“I need you to deliver a dozen sunflowers to that address at 1 pm today, what’s so difficult?” You’ve never ordered flowers before today and you wonder why it looks so easy in the movies. Flowers just seem to magically appear at the woman’s desk and everything is peachy. Except when you try to do it.

“It’s January, ma’am, we don’t have sunflowers for same day delivery.”

“Seriously?” This is why you don’t woo, things just don’t work out for you.

“I can give you a number for a place that might?”

“That would be most helpful, thank you.” Ten minutes later and you have finally managed to have sunflowers, Chloe’s favourite, delivered to her desk at her internship. Now, all you have to do is go to the grocery store and then the pound to get Lily and then swing by the labs where Chloe’s working to collect her, all while constructing an icy cool exterior that doesn’t give away the fact that you had flowers sent to her at work.

Shouldn’t be too hard.

Chloe bundles into the car later in the evening, kisses you on the cheek then turns to throw her arm around Lily who is lounging on the back seat. Under her other arm is a huge bouquet of sunflowers.

“I can’t believe we own a dog. An actual dog, which is our responsibility.”

“Yeah, well, try not to think about it too much. Lily’s pretty laid back, aren’t you girl?”

Lily yelps. Chloe laughs and turns back to you.

“Look at these! They got delivered while I was out on my lunch break, aren’t they pretty?” You try not to beam at the fact that she thinks your gift is pretty. She’s not meant to know that they’re from you.

“Has someone got a secret admirer?” You put the car into drive and try to focus on the road instead of Chloe listing the possibilities of who might have sent her flowers. They include Tom (vomit), the guy she was showering with the first time the two of you met and Clarissa, the other new intern who’s apparently pretty cute.

And pretty dead, you think, if she tries to hit on Chloe. Although you don’t know how you could explain that one away. This is one of those situations, you feel, where you’re not going to get out of it by using your fists.

After the stress of the flowers earlier, you’re beginning to think that you might need Jesse’s help with this wooing thing after all.

“Don’t we need to go to the store?”

“I have already done all the grocery shopping and tidied the house for my new favourite lady’s arrival.”

“Aww, Beca, you’re too kind.”

“I meant Lily.” She hits you. Hard.

\---

“Lily, you are too big to sleep in bed with us.” Lily looks up at your with those big eyes and her mouth stretched into something that approximates a doggy smile and you’re glad you’re the one having this talk with her because Chloe would have broken then and there and you would have woken up to dogbreath rather than Chloe’s perfume. And that would have been a crying shame.

“Maybe, you might be able to fit on the end of the bed.” You’re pretty sure this goes against all the rules of dog ownership. You think you’re meant to encourage new dogs to sleep in their own beds but you’ve tried and Lily just followed you in here. Chloe is watching the exchange with some amusement as she takes her makeup off and gets undressed.

“Shit.”

“What?”

“I forgot to put laundry on this morning, I have no clean pyjamas.” You would offer her yours but a) she’s a good four inches taller than you and b) you’ve already admitted to yourself that you want her to take her clothes off more, not put them on.

“Just come to bed, I’m sure you won’t get cold.”

“Mmm, is that a threat or a promise?” You realise that you’re watching her as she undresses but you’re pretty sure she wants you to. She unbuttons her shirt slowly and folds it before placing it gently on her desk. Then, she unzips her skirt and shimmies out of it, leaving it to pool on the floor. Your mouth goes dry as you recognise her underwear as the same set she was wearing on Christmas Eve, when she gave you about a million different signals in the space of a day.

Get it together, Mitchell. You’re meant to be wooing her, not fantasising about her naked. She reaches around and for one horrible, blissful moment, you think she’s taking off her bra but instead she pulls the band out of her hair and lets the curls fall around her creamy shoulders. For the first time, you look up at her eyes, which seem to be piercing into your soul and you _know_ she meant for you to watch. You feel like you’re being tested, which you probably are. And if you give in to your first instinct, which is to run out and spend the night on the couch, you’ve definitely failed. You’re not quite sure what you have to do to pass, though. This is so far past the line between friendship and whatever you and Chloe are actually doing that you feel a little out of your league. You feel like you did when she whispered in your ear and you dropped the plates, before you realised you were falling for her, before you thought that it might be nice to see her naked more often.

You’re scared. Scared of Chloe Beale, science geek, acappella queen and actual goddess, the very same Chloe Beale who is climbing into bed next to you.

“Penny for your thoughts?”

“Why do I feel like you planned the laundry thing to…fluster me or something?”

“I promise you, I did not plan this regretful pyjama situation. I’m just really behind on the laundry.”

Lily pads up the bed, hoping that Chloe will be more lenient in letting her sleep in bed with you guys. You almost hope she does because you feel like you need a buffer to keep you from touching her. You want to take things slowly, to make sure that you both feel the same but she’s sitting there, playing with your dog, in nothing but her underwear and your hopes at chivalry are being buried under thoughts that are much less PG.

“Lily, you heard Beca, you can sleep at the end of the bed. Don’t look so sad, we’ll go for a nice long run tomorrow morning, how does that sound?” It’s been agreed that Chloe can deal with the morning walks and you can deal with the evening ones. You’re contemplating taking Lily into college some afternoons when you’ve got Bella’s practise so she won’t be on her own all day if Chloe has work. Lily seems to have understood that she will be recompensed for not getting to curl up in bed and lies down across the end, her front paws hanging off the side of the bed.

Chloe snuggles into your side, which is pretty standard procedure, as you switch the TV on. Today is Glee day, which means Chloe getting emotionally involved and you not really caring at all. Most often, you fell asleep before it even finished and woke up again halfway through whatever came on next. Tonight, however, you wonder whether you’re ever going to fall asleep. You know it’s irrational; you’ve slept next to an underwear clad Chloe before, but that didn’t seem as intentional as it does tonight. You wish you knew what the test was and then you might have some chance of passing it.

“I’m cold.”

“You _are_ only in your underwear.”

“As we have discussed, I would wear pyjamas if I could. Now, I believe you said you would keep me warm.” There are many ways in which you would like to keep Chloe warm right now, but in the interests of taking things slowly, you put both your palms flat on the bed.

“I only said I was sure you wouldn’t get cold; I never said anything about me keeping you warm.”

Chloe pouts and turns her attention back to the TV screen. You pull her practically into your lap and wrap the quilt around both of you.

“Better?” She leans back into you and hums, which you take as a yes. You start to rub her shoulders, knowing that she’s been sat over a desk or working in the lab all day. Her skin is burning beneath your finger tips but smooth and soft. You feel her relax a little more, her eyes never coming off of the screen where once again, the high schoolers are singing for no real reason. This is your only TV concession to Chloe. You’re both allowed one. Yours is Game of Thrones which Chloe gets confused by but still watches because she doesn’t want to get kicked out of bed or off the couch on a Sunday evening.

“Mmm, Beca, that feels really good.”

“I don’t know how you’re cold, you feel like you’re on fire. Are you feeling alright?”

She blushes, her already hot skin warming further, turning red under your pale hands. You continue to knead tight muscles into submission, trying to block out the sounds she makes and failing entirely. You don’t think you’ll be able to sleep at all tonight, knowing that Chloe is not only half naked next to you, she is also pretty turned on. By you, fully clothed, not even the slightest bit sexy you.

Your hands seem to have a mind of their own as they move down her back and around her sides. You pull her even closer to you, so that you can rest your chin on her shoulder. Her breathing is kind of shallow and her eyes aren’t totally focused on the TV screen. Your fingers draw gentle patterns on her perfectly taut stomach and she turns her head slightly to look at you.

“Beca…”

“Mmm?”

“Why…what’s going on?”

You’ve taken it too far again, like you did on Christmas Eve (although that didn’t work out terribly for you, you remind yourself). You are generally awful at reading signals, you almost deserve to live alone for the rest of your life. This is a prime example of why you don’t ever come on to people unless you are really 100% sure that they’re into you, because when Chloe crawls out of your lap, you’re going to feel pretty rejected and it’s going to make things awkward.

“Sorry, I’ll stop.” She growls, loud enough to make Lily raise her head to check for danger. Her hands shoot to hold yours in place, flat against her belly.

“Don’t stop. Don’t worry so much.” She takes her hands away and turns back to the screen. You let your lips dip to the spot where her neck meets her shoulder and your tongue darts out over salty skin. Chloe moans, a sound which reverberates in your chest and finishes the task of ruining your underwear. You continue to touch her, her stomach, her hips, the tops of her thighs, until the show has finished. Then she hasn’t got anything else to look at anymore, so she has to look at you. And when she does, you’re pretty sure she’ll be able to see everything you feel for her plastered across your face.

“We should sleep…someone’s got to be up early to take our dog for a run.”

She looks slightly disappointed as you take your hands off her and let her move from your lap. She settles down next to you and you wrap her in your arms. You wonder if she feels as awake as you do. You’re glad that she probably can’t feel how wet you are through your pyjama bottoms.

“Beca…I know this doesn’t mean anything. I know there’s that other girl, the one you talked about at the weekend. Just…so we’re on the same page.”

You wish you’d told Chloe and you hadn’t been so damned scared about it because now the two of you are reading from two completely different books and she thinks you’re on the same page. She sounds so sad as well and you hate that you’ve made her feel used. You want to tell her this means a lot to you, that there hasn’t been anyone else but her for a long time, but the words seem to swell in your throat and choke you.

When you do fall asleep, you dream fitfully of Chloe running back to Tom or kissing Clarissa, who you’ve never met but assume is far more beautiful than you are. You wake up to find the bed empty with a headache and a desperate need for coffee.

You try to ignore the way your heart hurts more than your head.  

 


	13. talking to your pets is the second sign of madness

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have had so much fun writing this! Thank you for putting up with me and my sporadic updates!

Dog owning is becoming your favourite part of life. Lily goes with one of you everywhere, normally onto campus where there are no end of willing dogsitters. Wooing Chloe is becoming your second favourite part of life. Three weeks, three bouquets of flowers, lunch delivered to her lab every few days…this wasn’t that difficult. Apart from the fact that Chloe doesn’t realise it’s you doing. Which sucks, because she’s pretty sure that Clarissa is behind all the flowers and food and shit.

You hate Clarissa.

Right now, you’re taking out that dislike while walking Lily through the park near the apartment. And telling her about all your problems.

“So, this Clarissa girl, d’you think she’s pretty?” Lily whines slightly.

“Mmm, well, she’s not as pretty as you. I just…ugh, why can’t I just tell Chloe?”

Bark.

“You think I should just go home and tell her?”

Louder bark. Lily pulls on her leash in the direction of the apartment and you follow her. The majority of the time, given how strong Lily is and how tiny you are, this is what happens anyway. Chloe’s waiting in front of the building, wrapped up in her jacket, beaming at you.

“Have you been down here the whole time we’ve been out? Mommy’s silly, isn’t she?” Lily barks in response.

“Waiting for my girls. Did you have a nice walk Lilybug?” You swear the dog nods. Like ninety nine point nine percent of living organisms, the dog prefers Chloe to you. But you understand because you prefer Chloe to anything else in the world anyway.

“She did, we had a chat, didn’t we? Shall we go up?” Chloe takes your hand as you get into the elevator. It feels nice. The decision to tell her now seems a hundred percent less crazy because, well, this feels right.

“You know, talking to your pet is definitely the second sign of madness. What were you chatting about?”

Deep breath. Throw yourself in at the deep end and tell her.

“You know that conversation we had the other day about being on the same page? We were on different books, completely different books and it’s bugging me.”

“Bec…what are you saying?”

“All those flowers, those lunches, they were from me. I’m really shit at this, Aubrey told me to woo you and I am not really the wooing type. I even watched some of those terrible movies you love so much and it got me absolutely nowhere.”

“You’ve been trying to woo me?”

God, she is shockingly dense.

“Yes, I, Beca Mitchell, have been trying to woo you, Chloe Beale, although it does not appear to have worked because you seem entirely confused by the whole premise.”

“I must admit, I’m a little confused by the idea of you wooing anyone,” she grins, “But I’m glad there’s no other girl.”

“You’re…glad?”

“Beca, I don’t just jump into the shower with anyone. I don’t adopt a dog with the first stranger I meet when I walk out of the door,” You want to point out at this point that that sounds like _exactly_ the kind of thing Chloe would do, but you manage to keep your big mouth shut, “I’ve been trying to send you these signals for like a year and a half!”  

Ok, so maybe it’s _you_ who is shockingly dense.

“But what about the dates? And Jake?”

“I have been on precisely one date since we moved in together and that wasn’t even a date. I thought you were getting back together with Jesse after we’d kissed in Italy so I went to a bar, got drunk and bought that asshole home.”

“So the others?” The elevator pings and Lily drags you out towards the apartment. Chloe seems to  be altogether too happy as she unlocks the door.

“I may have fabricated a couple…to test the waters. Like, we kissed, we cuddle all the time, but I couldn’t work it out. So I wanted to see if you’d get jealous.”

“You’re a jerk. She’s a jerk, isn’t she Lil?” The dog ignores you as she runs over to her food bowl, leaving you and Chloe alone in the lounge, “So…what now?”

“You’re not mad I lied to you?”

“I’m mad that I’ve been so damn dense about the whole thing. I refused to believe anyone when they said you liked me because why would someone like you like someone like me and I thought I was going to get shot down in flames tonight but Lily told me to do it and…”

“Bec, you’re rambling. What do you mean Lily told you to do it?”

“Well, she pulled me home when I said ‘shall I just tell her?’ so I took that to mean that our dog has infinite dog wisdom…I know, talking to your pet is the second sign of madness and all that.”

“Our dog. I like that.”

“Well, who else’s dog is she going to be, Chlo?”

“I just mean…I like the idea of us. Of having lots of things that are ours.”

“Does this mean we have to go to Ikea and get a whole new kitchen set because I know none of the stuff is in fact ours? Because I can tell you for free we are not doing that.”

“No new kitchen set. Just, maybe, a date? In a non-furniture store setting. Maybe more of a restaurant kind of setting, with food and wine and everything?”

“You know, we’ve done this all completely backwards. You are meant to ask me on a date _before_ you ask me to move in with you, Miss Beale. I know lesbians move fast and all but really?”

“I’ve never been traditional, Miss Mitchell. Just keeping you on your toes. Now are you going to go to dinner with me or not?”

“Wait, I got you something. Like, I got you something a while ago and I’ve been meaning to give it to you for ages, but I never found the right time. Wait there.” You rush through to your room and hunt through your bedside table drawer for the necklace you bought Chloe in Italy. Grabbing it, you try to keep your pace at a normal level when you walk back out to the lounge, “I saw this in Italy and it was perfect, it just…reminded me of us, before I even wanted to admit there was an us. So yeah, I want you to have it so you can remember that even when I’m a jerk, I still wanted an us without realising or something. There’s some symbolism, you’re much better at the sappy bullshit than I am.”

“It’s beautiful.”

It’s a heart on a delicate silver chain, formed of a treble clef and a bass clef. Chloe is the treble, the high notes, the happy ones. You’re the bass, lower, darker, not used as often. But together, they complement each other. The bass notes don’t work on their own very well, and the treble can be made better with the bass.

You’re better with Chloe.

And you think she’s better with you too.

\---

Dinner is obviously terrible because you’re too nervous to eat and you manage to spill a glass of wine down Chloe’s dress. She laughs though, through the whole dinner, and somehow that makes things perfectly fine. You can’t take your eyes off the necklace, still kind of in awe of the fact that she’s wearing it. When you get home, she asks why you’ve been staring at her boobs all night. Whoops.

Things go on for a while. You go for date nights occasionally, you spend time with the Bellas, Chloe now having been promoted to choreographer extraordinaire (her name, not yours. You swear that you didn’t promote her just so you got to spend more time with her.) Jesse finds the two of you adorable. The Bellas find it sickening. Aubrey just makes Chloe promise not to share any gory details at the risk of causing an aneurysm. But she says she’s proud of you just before ruining the moment and telling you that she never expected to be and she might have to go lie down for a little while.

You graduate on time, the same year Chloe finishes grad school. The Bellas, national champions for four years in a row now, perform at your graduation ceremony. Aubrey comes back and you think you see her shed a tear when you start singing Ace of Bass. Not that she’d ever admit it. After all the necessary celebrations, which seem to go on for days, Chloe surprises you with two plane tickets to LA. One way.

After a year in LA, you realise that maybe, the city’s not for you. Sure, you’re doing well, you’re recognised in the industry and you’re working your way up. But your friends live all the way across country and you admit to yourself late one night that actually, you miss Atlanta a hell of a lot. Chloe loves the city, but then Chloe would love it anywhere. When you float the idea of moving back east, she starts looking for apartments immediately.

No one is more surprised than you when at a Bellas reunion three years later, you grab a Ring-Pop from the table and get down on one knee. In fact, Chloe might be more surprised because she looks like she’s about to faint before screeching yes at the top of her lungs. Aubrey’s her maid of honour, obviously, but she’s actually surprisingly laid back about everything, having Bridezilla-d herself out during her own wedding preparations the year before. Now she and Stacie are expecting a baby and she’s taking to impending motherhood with an impressive level of calm. Jesse is your best man. His speech is embarrassing as hell.

You’re not surprised when Chloe starts getting broody. You babysit for Eric at least once a month and eventually, the three hamsters, two dogs and tankful of fish are no longer enough to keep her mothering instincts at bay. When she tells you she’s pregnant, you think you might throw up and cry simultaneously. Aubrey calls ten minutes later to give you pointers on how to not freak out for the next nine months. She becomes your rock, and you love her every single day for it.

You’re not the most hands on mom, but your kids (that’s right, plural) seem to love you. You should have guessed that twins run in Chloe’s family, and after the second set, with another one in between, you say no more. Five kids is five more than you ever imagined having but you love every single second of it. You work mostly nights, while Chloe works days and you make it work, which is more than you thought you would ever be able to do at the beginning.

One day, you sit back and you think about the beginning, the beginning of everything when, for some reason, you actually stopped when two kind of annoying looking girls collared you about their acapella group. You think about Aubrey, who’s now as much your best friend as she is Chloe’s, about Amy who’s now travelling around the world teaching people how to mermaid dance. When Chloe comes and joins you on the couch, you think about how lucky you are that your dad made you go to Barden and told you to join a club. It’s the biggest cliché in the book, and lord knows you hate clichés, but it changed your life for the better. Nothing turned out how you thought it might, but it’s incredible all the same.

 


End file.
